Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML
Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
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Top comments
TheManager 6
They see her trollin.....
ICastillo 25
Grand theft auto her ass!! Knock her off and take it for a spin.
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Comments (94)
BVBarmy_girl 22
You have your own Segway?!
asnakelovinbabe 16
more context is needed, but still, you have gotta wonder why some random mom would just have a Segway. 'MERICA
ohcheriecherie 20
11- why not? Some people got money to blow.
ICastillo 25
Why not have a Segway? I don't have one, but if I did I would take it everywhere. And be like the mom and pull some hit and runs.
MrSassypants 34
#15 I know what you mean. I had blown my money but it said I sucked at blowing it, so my money cheated on me with a cashier. :(
BVBarmy_girl 22
Excuse me, but you must have misjudged the intentional meaning of my comment. I was not referring to OP specifically, but 'you' as in 'your family'. Plural, you know?
stargazur 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I didn't know world wide poverty had been solved, the money that bought that Segway could have fed five families, or been the final push for the cure to cancer or HIV.
MDTeddy 13
Why buy a segway? Buy a moped. =]
slacker_69 6
#41 YOLO buy what you want to have fun
RaggleFrock 13
41- i assume you are typing that on a computer or a phone which if you didn't buy or your parents didn't buy and donated the money instead... You see where I'm going with this? Segway for life, homie.
ICastillo 25
Dang #41 way to depress everybody. I still say buy a Segway!!
buckerado 19
Sorry 41 but some families work for a living and family goes first. Yes, I understand it's a Segway, but do you have a car or any 1st world item? If so, how come you didn't send money and complained about someone else spending their hard earned money.
GoodLookingGeese 10
I hate it when someone forces me to help others - it's called socialism. Only free market and free will works fine in real world. If someone's bought Sagway that's fine, even great - try to be happy 4 him.
tmmundy 17
41..and just how much of you're hard earned money have you given up to solve world poverty, HIV or cancer? What items, such as the electronic device you used to type your comment, have you given up to help solve these issues? Don't start judging other people you don't even know about how they spend their HARD EARNED MONEY!!
Faff 20
Why wouldn't you buy a segway?? well maybe because it's a waste of money for everyone that has a pair of legs. And it looks ridiculous. Only fat people and cops use those things.
jarrettd 27
And some people blow for money.
rikitsumiatsu 11
Your mom must be extremely lazy to have a segway
MsConfusedd 27
Or awesome. Segways are so fun, no matter how lazy (or not) you are!
panda_lou 11
What does having a Segway have anything to do with being lazy? If we are going with your thought process then anyone who eats dessert is a fat ****. You don't know her she may participate in yoga classes, go running, work a hard job where she earns the money to buy a Segway, and be on a healthy lifestyle plan. God forbid if someone has fun with the money they earn.
m1grande 3
I love you man
AngrySox 8
The girl is "going for a stroll in her yard". I don't know about you guys but my yard has never been "stroll worthy". I'm thinking there just rich mofos with a big ass yard and segways.
TheManager 6
They see her trollin.....
alligator729 15
On her Segway...
Cbizzlez 10
They hatin'
TheNewGuy03 29
Just because I'm whit ... ****, I'm black. Unintentional combo breaker.
bluebob13 10
She knows in heart they think she's too white and nerdy...
deathy94 14
White and nerdy!!!....
cheertrombonist 9
Pop pop hope no one see me, getting freaky ;)
therealslim 15
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream
cheertrombonist 9
I was contemplating of whether it not to say that ^ ..or what I said instead. I chose wrong.
NotGabe 28
You must be walking really slow.
ICastillo 25
Grand theft auto her ass!! Knock her off and take it for a spin.
GoodLookingGeese 10
Yeah!
Omfgitsmia 15
Why does your mom own a segway?
ShannyAK 16
Segways are SO much fun, I would love to have one
zandalee 20
Why shouldn't she own one?
mangoboy1 19
I really want a Segway but pimped out with chrome rims, a spoiler and with an extra motor or something so I can race other people on their pimped out segways
poccocurantes 7
I want one with miniguns and a rocket launcher. Then I'm takin on Chuck Norris.
ICastillo 25
You're good as dead if you try that man.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Chuck Norris doesn't battle. He only allows you to lose.
MsConfusedd 27
It must have been a short stroll... In your yard.
jem970 19
I've always wanted to ride one of those!
TheAbstract 15
Was I the only one that read this as "stalking a troll" ..?
poccocurantes 7
Yes, dyslexic one.
TheAbstract 15
I really gotta work on that..