Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
never thought I'd say that
Stavanger, Norway
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
COCKYmanUSC
United States
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML
Anonymous
Frederick, United States
Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML
Diesel
Belgium
Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML
Anonymous
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
sam
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza
United States
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Potato_Lord
Madison, United States
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Carrie P
Lambesc, France
This is how I roll
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
areyouserial
United States
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
Top comments
MeganLovesPandas 5
Never trust a guy on a segway.
young_weezy_fml 3
sEGGway ************
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Comments (79)
MeganLovesPandas 5
Never trust a guy on a segway.
DrainedOfSanity 4
Out of shape Americans.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I remember when I first saw a segway on campus. They're the future transportation!
DarkJediLove 19
What do out of shape Americans have to do with New Zealand?
Shmatterhorn 38
#13, except that OP is in New Zealand. But still, time to start that exercise routine.
Welshite 40
#13 had all her sanity drained so they had to start siphoning off her intelligence.
peacelovecoffee 20
16- they were invented in 2001, so, not really the future. And 21- idk if an exercise routine could even help, those things can go up to 12.5mph (20 kph)!
iLike2Teabag 27
We should have street races on Segways, then
ocramavaf 15
an average human on a dash can do 20 kph
FightMyLiger 19
#54 Assuming you have a spear, proper footwear, and everything I read on the internet is true, I'd have to believe you.
iLike2Teabag 27
Considering Usain Bolt can go 36 kph, the average person should at least be able to run half as fast
danial1214 21
They see me rollin' , they hatin'
iammeorami 25
Never trust anyone one a Segway.
HahaHokayThen 10
Yes, 69, thank you for clarifying the first comment. NOW I understand.
bosox17 6
Don't ever trust them
Welshite 40
You shouldn't have mentioned THEM. Beware, #2.
ironichalibut 24
THEY are always watching, so watch your comments.
ShyAnn29 15
Did you say THEM?!? *runs away screaming*
BlakesHonestLie 8
Damn the inimitable collective of "THEM."
marinus_fml 20
Why didn't you catch him?!
Damian95 16
Because he wasn't on a Segway. Duh.
plum_lovin 28
I would laugh if a video of a guy egging people on a Segway got featured on ifunny. Coincidence? I think not..
LosAngelesSon 8
The fact that they got away on a segway, made this a YDI.
TheJester12 15
What you don't know is that this Segway was equipped with a mustang v8 engine. The car is now just a storage box for other throwing items, like tomatoes and used condoms.
FightMyLiger 19
Segway has a top speed of 15+ MPH. Tell me you would have caught him on foot.
Mr_Satan 11
Yes, I could most certainly have speared the **** out of him. We're not talking about an extended run here. This would be a full-on sprint, 20 seconds tops, considering the average human who is in shape can run between 17 and 22 miles an hour (with proper footwear). World class runners have hit about 28, though that would obviously be holding the bar a bit high. If you don't believe me, or you can't sprint for 20 seconds, my guess is that's because you're in poor shape, and I recommend starting a cardio regimen.
firechicky 12
But you assume that he was even with the segway when he tried to catch him. catching up to someone going 12 mph is a lot harder when they're a good distance away.
russfml 31
You just got schooled
TEXASDude45 5
The average human runs 22mph? World class sprinters have reached that but definitely not the average person. And why in the world would you have a spear lying around?
Mr_Satan 11
55- I don't assume shit. Twenty seconds TOPS. That could be shorter depending on reaction time. Though I could understand being so flabbergasted by a segway egging to just stand there dumbfounded. 65 - Average person: 17 to 22 mph World class: 28 mph Learn to read, please. Being willfully Eeletterote isn't cool. Also, spear as in tackle.... An egging may be a dick move, but murder is not an appropriate response.
djxerxes9000 18
Because it all happened in middle earth.
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
How did you let him get away?
Karen626 8
Very slowly
timelessone 16
Who does this kind of thing on a segway?
theannak 7
Obviously the guy who did it...I'm just gonna guess assholes...
clueless05 12
Happen*? I'm confused are you missing a word?
monnanon 14
the first word is who not how. so no they are not missing a word.
AboveAll04 14
36- your name suits you quite well.
ironichalibut 24
People conducting themselves in the manner of a boss do this.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Betty White and the cast of Off Their Rockers...
Kk_Waylen24 21
Did you try following him?
mmdogg01 2
You fat fcck. How can you not catch a Segway?
young_weezy_fml 3
sEGGway ************
oj101 33
What a rotten thing to do