Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML
Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
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Top comments
Curtieeeez 0
You gotta love kids ;D
purple5 0
Hehe, cute! She's only three, so I wouldn't take her too seriously :3
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Comments (160)
Me27 0
I can't stand when parents refer to themselves in the third person.
plethora 3
Ahahaha #25, ILY.
Karnezar 2
Leave a cat in the will :D
ebbasaur 0
WTF, DUDE!?! You've got some lil OMEN children. Watch out, they might push you down a flight of stairs....
RPGod 0
God, another little kid FML? Geez. Little kids don't understand death. They don't really mean it. How does this shit get through moderation?
LittleMiss1 0
Shes 3years old. relax BHAHAH @#25
illeyad 0
I can't believe some of these people claim you disserve it for being a 'bad father' by not taking allergy meds to have a cat. Allergy meds only give some relief they don’t cure you and you shouldn’t have to medicate yourself for the sake of a cat that a 3 year old will likely become bored of. When they grow up and have their own house they can have all the cats they want :P
lolwut_fail 0
FYL for having 3 yearold twins.
NorfolkDude 2
How is this a FML? I mean a 3 year old's concept of life and death is limited so obviously she didn't mean they wish you were dead. I don't think a single child under 10 can understand anything about death. Heck, a three year old would have a very hard time understanding why a pet gold fish die when you take it out of the tank to play.
augustdanielle 0
Kids will be kids.