Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
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Top comments
thelorax 0
if you're a minor and still going to school, that's sad but if you're like 30, living at home and paying no rent... clearly the cat should win it all depends...
24788 7
#3 that's ****** up. You can't make people choose over two things they love. Most of the time it will backfire at the person saying it.
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Comments (103)
Anderling 33
I'm so sorry to hear that. That sucks. I hope things'll get better for you soon.
GatoradeBoy 0
Some of these just sound fake and repeated to me.
miianah1 22
Yeah and then the OP responds and gets upset that the readers are calling her mom a terrible person and mother. Like, what did you expect?
CheezerX 0
reminds me of a Dane Cook joke. I love that ******
24788 7
#3 that's ****** up. You can't make people choose over two things they love. Most of the time it will backfire at the person saying it.
thelorax 0
if you're a minor and still going to school, that's sad but if you're like 30, living at home and paying no rent... clearly the cat should win it all depends...
itsnotfair 0
yes, #4, because its SOOO hard to choose between your own offspring and an ANIMAL that can be adopted by somebody else...mmm... i wonder what the rational choice is....
PurpleMyth 28
Your kids can go with someone else too
24788 7
#6 I know what your saying, but in this world it doesn't always work out like that. Some people just choose an animal over a human being.
onigiriqueen 0
#6 and the others who bitched that you shouldn't pick an animal over a human: It doesn't matter, because the OP is an idiot for giving such a stupid ultimatum. Once I told my dad that he had to be nice to me or I'd call social services and they'd take me away. He replied, "Is that a promise?" Of course, my dad was joking, but the point still stands-- don't say stupid shit like that to parents, they're far cleverer (I know it's "more clever", BTW) than you are. ...by the way, my dad was great. He was trying to make me do the dishes and I was being a whine-ass. And as for me? Don't make me choose between my cat or you. I don't care who you are, my cat will win.
miianah1 22
First of all, I hope you live alone, and will never have kids because putting your cat that high on a pedestal only leads to bad things. Second of all, if you knew it was "more clever", you should've said that in the first place because it makes you look dumb when you spend more time typing that you know the correct form INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY TYPING THE CORRECT FORM. Third of all, I recommend you leave the house more often. :) Good Day.
lobstar 0
If you're over 18 I'd choose the cat too.
No_Effing_Way 0
Sorry to hear that but...Bright side: There's always allergy medicine! I'm highly allergic to cut grass and live in a rural area. So, I live day to day off of allergy medicine!