Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, my 6 year-old son came up to me and asked "Dad, when you're dead, will you give me your wallet ?" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 years-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was being charming by smiling and batting his eyelashes at me. When I asked him, "What?" he replied, "When you die, can I have your hair?" FML
Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
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Top comments
LebowskiAchiever 3
Obviously you're doing something wrong. A child that young should be crying his little ass off even thinking about his mum dying.
FFML_314 12
Your kid is sadistic, but at least he's honest.
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Comments (135)
mackenzie2323 5
ROFL! . . I mean, ummm, maybe you should buy his love, toys and stuff, lol ;)
wilcas713 0
oucch.. sorry
EffinAhole 0
Kids say the darndest things. Just ask Bill Cosy
areforever 0
"Kids say the darndest things" was an actual TV show, not Family Guy. Dumbass kids.
Astroman129 7
Kids say the darndest thongs. Just ask Rosie O'Donnell! (who, by the way, was the host of the shoe). =]
Thin_Ice_fml 0
That was an old show, I vaguely remember it.
Melgros 0
Stop being a bitch and his answer will change.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I don't even want to think about Rosie O'Donnell, thongs, kids, and shoes all together. O.o FYI, the original host was Art Linkletter, since it started as a segment on a different show of his.
Larryfresh23 0
BURN!!!!
FunkyAndFresh 7
#68 - host of the "shoe"?
starrXX6 0
lol DIE BITCH! xP
Astroman129 7
109- Sorry about that. Thanks for pointing out my typo. =]
stephanie0613 0
wow what's up with little kids these day's they are so hilarious. adding this to my favorites !
sheagstaz 0
wow thats gotta suck
mobba08 1
pahahahaa x] more cookies are needed (:
LebowskiAchiever 3
Obviously you're doing something wrong. A child that young should be crying his little ass off even thinking about his mum dying.
ImaginaryFoe 1
A child that age doesn't understand the concept of dying. They might wish mum was dead so they can have candy whenever they want. It doesn't occur to them that it means mum won't be around to take care of them. It's fairly common, OP. Try not to take it to heart. The little brats have no tact or gratitude.
Soteria 0
you obviously know nothing about children
kristir9426 0
yeah, my 4 year old started screaming I hate you I hate you I hate you (where did she learn that?!???) when I said she couldn't have a cupcake because she didn't eat her dinner.. silly kids
Mr_26 0
^You should've forced her to eat cow shit. It'd make your bitch daughter more grateful.
PeeNaught 3
number 34 who the hell you Calling a little brat and saying they have no tact or gratitude have you lookEd in the f****** mirror lately?
OceanBlueSea 12
Stewie tries to kill his mom all the time....
imababeee 0
saaad
goodlike_fml 0
arf il sorry your kid will change ;)
EffinAhole 0
arf? did u just throw up in your mouth?
Astroman129 7
Dude... Goodlike... we have the same birthday ^_^
sarah48_fml 0
sounds like he's 4 going on 15
77taylah33 0
so bloody true!!
_whisper_ 0
Haha, kids do that alot.
Filitov 0
OP, he's four. Get over it.
temperance28 1
I agree.
NightSkyx 0
#9 profile pic win!
FFML_314 12
Your kid is sadistic, but at least he's honest.
lostinmymind121 0
he's a kid... they say things they don't mean. actually... they'll do that forever... but they start young
melthepirate 4
agreed!!
hahaalolz 0
yes, I agree. I feel for u tho, OP, at the time it wouldve been a real heart breaker :( but I'm sure he didn't mean it, he's only four, it's a stage they go thru. :)