Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Today, I was so lonely and bored, I thought about making the most of our current heatwave by giving myself heatstroke, just so I could talk to a doctor. FML
Today, I've done everything I wanted to do in life. I'm currently 27. Bored out of my fucking mind. Just call me bored. FML
Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, my doctor informed me I was a fascinating patient. Why? I have "more health issues than a patient my age should." I'm 26. FML
Today, because of this fucking virus I was really excited to actually talk to another person. FML
Today, my mom sternly told me that she would no longer make doctor's appointments for me, since I need to do them myself. I've been staring at the phone for thirty minutes, crying from anxiety. I'm 27 and the most pathetic man alive. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
"How can you be bored? Hamilton is on Disney+ now!" - My roommate "Bitch, Space Force is on Netflix, and that has John Malkovich in it!" - Me
Sgt.floppyweiner 2
your girlfriend's probably fat and you're not attracted to her
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
BurnInDemonFire 39
"How can you be bored? Hamilton is on Disney+ now!" - My roommate "Bitch, Space Force is on Netflix, and that has John Malkovich in it!" - Me
RichardPencil 32
If the doctor is a hot woman, you should be excited. Maybe she could cure your ED. ;) It'd be good news that your dick works, but more importantly, you'd save ton of money on those ******' pills!
Sgt.floppyweiner 2
your girlfriend's probably fat and you're not attracted to her