Kids: Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can...

TwinDad 14 May 2009, 15:24 United States

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

160 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

skaterboy 13 August 2013, 15:36 Calgary, Canada

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

138 comments

Anonymous 19 August 2020, 23:02

Is this a joke?

Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML

6 comments

My_Cow_kiM 28 April 2009, 23:05 United States

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

103 comments

BambooLove 15 July 2010, 06:53 United States

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

606 comments

NoNotCats =^._.^= 3 September 2013, 08:17 Mesa, United States

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

102 comments

Cat lover 23 December 2017, 01:30

Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML

14 comments

Ames 23 May 2009, 16:07 United States

Don't make me choose

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML

209 comments

notsoonenufdeparted 2 October 2010, 05:07 United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

135 comments

achoooo 7 November 2009, 05:34 United States

Cats rule, boys drool

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

65 comments

fmlsrsly 25 March 2009, 16:43 United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML