Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
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Top comments
guitarbeast 22
Well at least you can arrest that bastard who was sleeping with your wife… or your wife
windfuelsfire 10
I bet that called up a lot of emotions at once.. FYL OP
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Comments (129)
MurderUnsolved 1
hey man im looking for work
kmajricks 1
I love police officers. Want a real woman that won't cheat on you. Contact me....
izzywell 2
I'm sorry about what happened. I know when I get married I will only try to take care of him and make him happy
cougar41 8
Arrest them both then don't post bail for her leave the bitch in jail to think about her actions
KM96 24
Oh that's horrible news OP :( I hope everything works out - whatever you chose to do
figglez 1
That would suck if you weren't a cop buuuut **** you
chinagirl3343 8
How stupid is she? Kick her out!!
Likian5 26
Well now you can use your position in your career to beat up the other guy...legally.
gardenwhipped3 14
Arrest them both, let them both get attorneys, and call a midnight locksmith.
LexieWins 0
This is what happens when she doesn't really mean "harder."