Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML
Today, I was feeling more and more sick, with significant pain in my abdomen. Nobody believed me, and my grandma told me to stop whinging and to eat something. I tried but started vomiting, and now I'm being rushed into surgery with an already necrotic appendix. FML
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Top comments
LittleBells 17
It has to be better than their Chocolate Pudding I suppose
WCARlover 35
This made me cringe so hard...I am so sorry OP
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Comments (102)
Averylonelycube 11
At least you have the pudding to look forward to when you wake up. Good luck, OP.
littlekellilee 45
People always say things could be worse, and you've made me realize they're right. Thank you OP.
captainsmegma 12
Oooh vanilla pudding. Great day for a twat injury.
mld4657 28
ouchy I'm so sorry op. that must of been an experience. get better soon
ihpp 22
my lady parts hurt for you. I hope you heal quickly, OP.
Bentonic 11
It sounds so bad that even my lady parts hurt, and I don't even HAVE them!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
GentlemanBastard 15
That's one way to wreck your ******. Sounds less fun though.
AirBusDriver 23
OMG OP. Because of your misfortune I'm adding a new warning to my safety briefings for the boats and floatplane. Hope you are sailing safely very soon!
worldclassrager 41
It's amazing what they will try to so to cheer someone up
weveallbeenthere 30
how freakin hard did you sit on it. we're you naked or did your pants/shorts offer no protection. needs a follow up.