Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
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Comments (227)
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
dinosaursmoo 0
I broke my thumb in second grade playing rock paper scissors. Not so ridiculous anymore.
paperxclips 0
That must have been a pretty epic game of rock paper scissors xD
Brokendreams_fml 0
Rofl Ikr? So hardcore.
Penetration 0
That should only happen if they rock your scissors.
Rakayum 0
In soviet Russia, spoon scoop you!
dudeitsdanny 10
Seems like Russia and Oregon are a lot alike =P
YouCantBreakMe 9
maybe it was a broken spoon?
zendaddy0 0
Did you get a trophy?
thimovw 4
Ownt Xd
GAMERZxxHD 25
Could have been a rusty spoon.
AbagaelMurray 20
I cut my finger with a Laffy Taffy, a spoon seems more reasonable
zanathegirl 6
it seems everyone is forgetting, that, there are spoons with sharp tips, made for cutting into fruits and taking small bites of it. pretty useless, but they work nicely for cutting things when you don't have a knife.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
theshow8812 0
you're absolutely right
samsam23t 8
it was probably a grapefruit spoon those things are dangerous.
memory_loss_fml 0
How do you even do that?
Pointy130 0
Yeah really. I mean, FYL, but still, HOW THE **** DID YOU CUT YOURSELF WITH A SPOON?!?!?!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Maybe it was an old spoon and it had sharp and pointy edges.
lizz16 0
A spoon??? How did that happened?? A SPOON???????
Corez0r 0
I see you've played knifey spooney before.
jackdaniels_fml 0
ROLF! my thoughts exactly!! good job :D
Cindii 0
You, sir are a legend :) "C-O...!" "B-E...!"
MarkO_fml 0
Except that he got that somewhere else - the Simpsons I think. OP, you didn't win anything. The doctor did so your life sucks even more.
ydi_ruuc 0
I may sound like an idiot, but what is knifey spooney?
perdix 31
Now I am going to use this to warn my daughter of the perils of spooning!
Sun_Kissed18 25
Hahaha, cleverrr ;) Spoons are bad, see here? So spooning is bad! Got it? Stay away from boys. They will cut you, all those sharp edges and such.
perdix 31
It's the rounded, smooth parts I'm worried about. ;)
anglicdvil524 0
Are you Filipino??? "Only a Filipino could find the sharpest edge of a SPOON" -Rex Navarette
spoo 24
0.o
maundy 0
im filipino and i didnt even get that
omgitsgabby 0
you're racist.
The_Disturbed 5
I'm calling YDI on this one...seriously...how dangerous are your spoons? How the hell do you cut yourself on one of those?
dacho 7
Spoon :S
Kervik 0
Precisely.
Kervik 0
Precisely.
8trickster8 0
Precisely.
wutupbruh 0
Precisely.
toink 0
Precisely.
dinosaursmoo 0
Precisely.
ScaryyMary 14
Précisément.
rahhal 0
Absolutely not
3ll3_fml 0
Penis!
Fleecy 0
hahahahahahahaha to OP...... If you can cut yourself open with a spoon.....I think I'm more impressed than thinking you're an idiot.
Link5794 18
Precisely.
golimat619 2
did you shove it into your finger? that seems hard to do.