Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
This means war
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Dirty boy
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Best foot forward
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Well played, you mutt
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Bad boy
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Top comments
Happygofucky 0
I wouldn't get out of bed to poop if I knew someone else would clean it up. Why bother!?
mrsmcscruggs 5
YDI.... your dog is sick. if anyone's lazy it's you for not taking the poor thing to the vet.
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Comments (127)
TomFeltonFan 0
do you have fun cleaning it up?
noobgang7 5
Clean it up? OP can't even get his/her lazy ass out of bed to let the dog out in the first place. Apparently the dog is expected to unlock/open the door on her own.
CassSanchez 5
^agreed haha
msmandy 0
55... ever heard of a doggy door? haha
joe_says_so 0
wait, anybody else notice op thought it was gross to poop the bed. hmmm. maybe that's why nobody sleeps over at my house twice.
LTHoratioCaine 4
YDI for having a lazy dog, make it not lazy, motivate it, dont force it. You can feed it all you want, doesnt make you a good owner
noobgang7 5
61, I've heard of them, but since the OP is too lazy to clean her bed, she is also too lazy to install one.
F14Shado 0
85 I'm dying. lolololol
Fmmom 6
Maybe he/she was still asleep when the dog defecated in his/her bed. Perhaps the dog is getting old, or simply lazy. Most dogs would at least go on the floor, if not insist on going out. But, then again, you are just a troll.
43trauts 14
I guess he's a poopy dog!
tulsafml 0
it's a shity dog. :D c what I do there.?
Miss_Michaela 10
Guess what? That's a shitty situat... Oh. Nevermind.
FarSide 23
Well, you might as well not leave any loop holes. Let's throw in the following synonyms too: Anal impaction, ass goblins, ass kabobs, ass monkeys, black banana, blind eels, blow mud, boggy crapper, boulder, butt dribblets, butt drool, ca-ca, cattle cookies, chimp chunks, chocolate channel chewie, chocolate explosion, colon cannonballs, corn eyed butt snake, corn massacre, cow farts, crap, creamy butt nuggets, cut off a load, defecate, digested Crayola box, dog logs, doggy sausage, drop ass goblins, dukey (my personal favorite), dump, Easter Bunny's present, egest, elk duds, excretion, frightened turtle, hardened fudge nuggets, hell's candy, human expresso machine, Indian rug burns, kagatzka, keester cakes, lawn sausage, Mississippi mud, monglin cluster shit, mudfat balls, pass, peanut butter poop, potty animals, product of Uranus, screaming mimis, sea pickle, sewer serpents, shitsicles, space slug, stool, Super Shit Man, supersonic sewer sauce, talk to a man about a horse, tangy butt nuts, the fourth teletubby, toilet bowl stew, tom cruise missiles, toxic turdeys, turd tunnel tasty, and yellow submarine.
TomFeltonFan 0
lol @ yellow submarine (:
TomFeltonFan 0
nahhh I just like the beatles and I thought that was random so it made me laugh (I must admit I did not read it just saw that) (:
MissBunny25 0
38 nice novel, bro
69hehehe69 0
lol @ 38: corn eye butt snake
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Digested Crayola box?! XD WOW
BWill9014 4
The 4th teletubby LOL
noelykins1 19
LMAO THE 4th TELETUBBY (:
tulsafml 0
hey 12, did you just have a seizure?
Happygofucky 0
I wouldn't get out of bed to poop if I knew someone else would clean it up. Why bother!?
Happygofucky 0
I think we should date. You sound like my kinda man.
stonebaked 0
akwarrrd^^ but so so true :) () () (*_*) ((__))o
RavenRiley007 4
it's a dog!
Claytonic 0
Dogs take after their owners, so my guess is you saw it and was too lazy to clean it up, went back to bed and worried about it later.
caracherries 0
or never even gave a **** to train him properly in the first place.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Well, neither do I. But I wear a diaper so it's all good. Try that on your dog.
Doortje 30
Well for starters, don't let her sleep in your bed.
Xquisite1 28
Ydi for letting a dog sleep in your bed.
griffbg08 0
ditto
AKALurch 0
Ur dog is probably sick :(
mrsmcscruggs 5
YDI.... your dog is sick. if anyone's lazy it's you for not taking the poor thing to the vet.
mandyd80 0
how do you figure the dog is sick? sounds like just a poorly trained dog to me.
astronautmichael 0
My cats shit on my bed all the time even when the box is clean right down the hall. They throw up too. It's pretty bad.
22cute 17
oooo can I come sleep with you?
lilvicky 0
Ewww gross!
crazycry 0
cats do that to try to show they are the boss of you. s'true