Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
spayellow 0
Ummm... I think it's pretty obvious that "d-a-v-e" is "clare" written very poorly. You can't expect perfect penmanship with a key, can you?
8trickster8 0
There's a lot of these "wrong name keyed into my car" FML's. Maybe it's just the same guy for each one? Hmmm, I think I'm on to something.
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Comments (79)
vynns 0
Aw that really sucks. >:( Hope you caught whoever did that.
marz88 0
Posting at the top because I want to say that we have had waaaaayyyyy too many of these FMLs here. Can we only get those of epic proportions? Thank you. But yeah FYL
tiancai 0
Maybe what he meant is "(I want to) F*ck you, (signed) Dave"
dudeitsdanny 10
=) I'm sure that will make her feel better ^^;;
Twolly 0
I figured it was more like: **** you. -Dave
ClumsyJason 3
Lmfao, so now she still has to pay for the damages :p
ammiemarie 4
Ouch, that's kinda awful.
ActionManly 11
I'm Dave, BTW.
randomdude1234 0
No, I'm Dave!
Skull_300 0
Dave's Not Here!
f_alltheirlives 3
Im Spartacus
TheOtherMakona 0
I'm the new guy. *does crazy eyes*
knighthawk69 0
Im dirty dan
BigK_Diet_Cola 1
Hi Clare. I'm BigK. Dave is the dude you're smashing. That note is from his girlfriend. You shouldna done that. He's just a boy.
8trickster8 0
There's a lot of these "wrong name keyed into my car" FML's. Maybe it's just the same guy for each one? Hmmm, I think I'm on to something.
perdix 31
I didn't know that HAL learned how to key a car. And that they making yet another sequel to "2001: A Space Odyssey"
polico_wolf 0
Hello, da-- aw, you beat me to a hal refrence
usagicookies 1
"Who's Dave" indeed.
spayellow 0
Ummm... I think it's pretty obvious that "d-a-v-e" is "clare" written very poorly. You can't expect perfect penmanship with a key, can you?
splitsides 4
THIS.
Rayn4u_fml 0
Very well spotted.
nonynony 0
Only if it's in lowercase. Capital D-A-V-E doesn't really looke like C-L-A-R-E, and I'd say people are more likely to write in capitals if they're doing something like keying a car, lowercase when writing on the internet. Who knows, maybe not. Just pointing that out.
YOMyLifeSuck 0
wow yeah, that makes sence
perdix 31
Back in my day, all of us kids had to take a class in Keymanship, so when we would go around vandalizing stuff it would be goddam legible. It was a big waste of time, but we liked it, we LOVED it! Flibbity-floo!
lefteye770 0
at first I thought, "yea, FYL"...but spayellow makes a good point
rx0829 0
Hahaha I NEVER would have noticed that!!! Of course, if it was capitalized then this doesn't work, but otherwise...
chellinha93 0
Oh that is true. If you write cursive like I do, the two words can be mistaken. Very nice thinking spayellow. FYL Op. That sucks...
null_fml 11
Good eye, #9. I only have one beef with your comment. You're the only one so far that noticed that connection, so it's definitely not "obvious".
ClumsyJason 3
Wow, that is pretty clever
uneed2calmdown 0
i noticed that too :p but yeah, FYL....
greengremlyn28 7
I agree with you 100%
sulitak 27
that's what I was thinking
teanque 0
but....what about Bob??