Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
ImTheAlpha 30
Don't you just love children?
Attacksloth 33
A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.
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Comments (87)
tempermental 19
This could be so much worse...
XBurytheCastleX 25
That only happened because Clyde wouldn't put the seat down. Teach your daughter that she's safe unless the seat is up.
chocolateaxeguy 7
Good thing it wasn't Mr. Hanky. . .that could have led to a new kind of horror
ayyy_bro 26
South Park: ruining all kids' morals and destroying what their parents taught them. Still funny as hell though.
hambro 9
why are they even watching that!?
lekimdraw 3
that's when you make your youngest ones sister change her diaper until she potty trains her again.
connorb16 7
My brother did the same to me but it was a snake..
blackonblight 33
That's one that actually happens. Look up news stories of guys getting bit on the dick and/or ass by snakes in their toilets. I can guarantee you'll find multiple sourced examples.
militarybrat 21
If the oldest is still quite you g YDI for allowing her to watch that show. But FYL anyways, so I put both.
militarybrat 21
Ugh I'm tired. Disregard errors.
Rodopen 19
First off why the hell do you let your kids watch South Park?
NamelessFace 22
If the oldest one is old enough for it (and if she's mature, she really doesn't need to be 17+, let's be real here) then why the hell should OP stop her?
JazNim17 18
I doubt a mature person would show something like that to a child knowing that it could effect them. She sabotaged her little sister's potty training. So probably not mature enough for South Park.
bumble_beee_23 18
That's must be real shitty