Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
ImTheAlpha 30
Don't you just love children?
Attacksloth 33
A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.
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Comments (87)
911lady 4
Completely off topic (sort of) but i was on vacation once and there was a 5 year old whose intestines got sucked out by her sitting on the main drain in the kiddie pool at the hotel. The suction was enough to actually do that. So South Park strikes again with the "weird but true" stories.
2retz 11
how old is the older daughter? should she be watching south park? and of she is of she to watch south park, then she of age to understand the challenges one goes through toilet training. id say as punishment to her, let it now be her responsibility to tend to all training and toilet issues. best of luck
Catou Durand-Grenier 8
at least she didin’t see the human centepede episod