Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my daughter told me she never wants to see me again because I had an abortion. She wanted me to have the baby and then give it to her so she could raise it as hers. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
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Top comments
AverageJoey 18
"Well if i'm trash then what does that make you?" "I don't know!" "Grounded. It makes you grounded."
blakeyboy22 12
Well... Hopefully it isn't garbage day anytime soon, make the escape while you can!
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Comments (82)
Gauzy21 12
Well time to put your child up for adoption.
yolololol3 17
how old was your daughter?
lalundsten 16
young
lalundsten 16
I love this kid
TheForgetfulOne 12
I'm really looking forward to seeing the illustration for this fml
Johnnycake23 42
Tell her that's funny because you found her in the trash but you don't want to put her back!
ekim300 26
That's when you grab her by the hand and say: "I'm putting you in your room." When she asks why just say: "Because you're grounded."
failedgamer01 20
Sometimes what kids say to you make you kinda wonder... Try not to let it get to you OP!
Staresti 6
Do you people think children can't make jokes? Is that what's going on in these comments and with you OP? Kids say strange things because they're joking. Just like adults. That also sounds like something she probably heard on tv.
ohSNAPyall 27
And little kids are often very bad at delivering jokes. She probably said this because it is so hilarious -- clearly you are a human being, not trash!
NamelessFace 22
They're overreacting a bit but still, considering that she's really young it's best for her to not be so insensitive with her jokes. Bad habits form like that, you know, but by itself it's no big deal.
mrmcleod 29
I do believe she said, "Because you're trash eh."
Guard_Babe 19
Well, sometimes children are truthful... I hope that isn't the case, OP!