Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my daughter told me she never wants to see me again because I had an abortion. She wanted me to have the baby and then give it to her so she could raise it as hers. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
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Top comments
AverageJoey 18
"Well if i'm trash then what does that make you?" "I don't know!" "Grounded. It makes you grounded."
blakeyboy22 12
Well... Hopefully it isn't garbage day anytime soon, make the escape while you can!
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Comments (82)
Mossyoak_kw 28
Kids say the darndest things
flufee2 27
I hate when people say this shit
watermelon15 35
Why?
pooldude 24
this is in a whole different ballpark. it left me with wide eyes and open mouth.
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
#1 covered this comment already.
Emzinatorbot 26
Kids are so honest about their feelings..
blakeyboy22 12
Well... Hopefully it isn't garbage day anytime soon, make the escape while you can!
aylind 18
Someone needs a stern talk and a timeout.
Nymeria_fml 25
Are you that someone?
watermelon15 35
Burn.
EddiesGirl 14
I think what #5 is trying to say is that the mother should have a talk to her daughter about how saying certain things can be hurtful.
aylind 18
Thank you #60! I don't understand why I got thumbed down so much for recommending reprimanding the child. She needs to understand that speaking to someone like that is rude and disrespectful. What if she had said that to her teacher or fellow student? She needs to learn.
Tankkiller308 16
Ya except it's a saying meant to be funny I'm sure the kid didn't actually me they were garbage. It is something we say to each other all the time at school
stupidface15 16
i didnt know lil wayne had a daughter
starile 20
He actually does, she just turned 16 and had a pimped-as-hell birthday party with two new luxury cars. Let's see what OP's daughter gets, with that attitude lol
watermelon15 35
Nothing if she's still behaving like this.
CitricAcid 21
Well, looks like someone is going to grow up to be a serial killer...
lalundsten 16
Haha this made my day, you're awesome! - but I really do hope she doesn't become a serial killer...
Wizardo 34
Is your daughter Batman on the down low by any chance?
LittleMissShadow 16
Kids say the darnedest things
grimpeeper 13
That is literally the very first comment.
AverageJoey 18
"Well if i'm trash then what does that make you?" "I don't know!" "Grounded. It makes you grounded."
caleb_ohs 8
If you're going to ground your kid for calling you trash and they're little, which means they probably don't understand how it feels if they're to young, then you probably shouldn't have anymore kids.
tantanpanda 26
#67, here's a bridge and there's you. get over yourself.
AutisticAbyss 10
Sounds like you wronged her in some way without conscience. Give it time & you'll find the sorce of the issue.
Jellysweetheart 23
*source