Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
The standoffish ones are always the hardest. Wanna try putting the candy somewhere out her reach?
ahabsfan 17
Actually that’s a normal child reaction to reply yes. Besides, all her teeth should fall out. We all lose our baby teeth in order to have the adult teeth come in.
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
The standoffish ones are always the hardest. Wanna try putting the candy somewhere out her reach?
rainbowdonnareed 18
So she can't brush her teeth again?
Sady_Ct 38
Why does she have free access to candy? She’s a child and most children can’t be trusted with candy.
ahabsfan 17
Actually that’s a normal child reaction to reply yes. Besides, all her teeth should fall out. We all lose our baby teeth in order to have the adult teeth come in.
bleachedraven 14
that's one way of looking at it 🤣
princess_stabitty 20
One way of looking at it. But believe me, as a dental instumentalist who assisted in multiple removal of teeth so rotten they had to be removed way too early in kids only about 18 months - that is not a way you should teach your kids to view things.
Hangryko 32
YDI for leaving candy in reach.