Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "So, how about some break up lovin'?" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I didn't realize there was an age limit on when you could use the "it's not you, it's me" speech. "Because my mom doesn't like you" shouldn't be used past age 18, but "it's not you, it's me" is timeless.
DjeePee 25
I would rather hear that it isn't me than that it is completely my fault.
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Comments (70)
Skodos_fml 0
Your boyfriend is a hero!
gooBUZZ 0
How can you, not be you? What kind of idiot is he?
iloveloosy12 0
old habits die hard, it's always him
theian01 3
Hey, he can't use the "it's not you, it's me." I INVENTED the "it's not you, it's me!"
Juliaa15 6
I like your lizard...^
theian01 3
He is no logger with us... :-(
gallaeo 21
R.I.P 49's brave lizard...he was too young to go =, he will be missed. Did he have a proper burial?
MrsLender_fml 3
He didn't like the secret you revealed... eek!
lovexbox 8
You're life sucks. I wouldnt cry about it though, he isn't worth it.
tanjoodo 3
"Your"
Sparkadelic 4
Now, mistaking 'your' for 'you're' is common. What you've done is on a whole new level.
SmallTownCutie 0
I think she put 'you're' because grammar Nazis pick on the misspelling of it the most. The grammar/spelling/punctuation Nazis have put fear into us all, so think about easing up a little, because most of the people have decent grammar/spelling/punctuation when they are not taking a leisurely break on FML. so *** ogf biatchhss(:
v1kt4r 13
How the **** you know he's not worth it???
lovexbox 8
FYI I am sick, on medication so I feel "off". My phone "auto-corrects" me. Oh and he isn't worth it because anyone who uses the whole "it's me, not you" speech usually just wants to be single and can't think of anything better to say. GrAmMuh NaZeEs suK onn Thissssssssss
alfredrog 0
lol I love everytime a grammar idiot get owned for being stupid ;)))
Doortje 30
It's not him, it's you.
reganera 0
that really sucks, he sounds like a chop
DjeePee 25
I would rather hear that it isn't me than that it is completely my fault.
Skodos_fml 0
It's never the boyfriends fault.
lovexbox 8
I'd rather be told the truth.
Jizwold 0
I'd rather not be dumped
urdirtyolduncle 15
I'd rather get laid.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
coolkid_matt 11
your boyfriends awesome! :)
FYLDeep 26
He must not have liked what you bought him from Victoria's Secret.
Cyosaric 0
LOL
mytralala_fml 7
or shes fat. no one likes fat people in lingerae. *idk how to spell that ;)
MassEffectNerd 0
hey it worked didn't it
RawDawgie 0
was his name George Costanza?
SuperDuperSex 0
Yes. Yes it was.