Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
U_GotitDude 18
Lol did she say what show?
T9FTW 20
The Hills.
fkingstooge 0
Pussy. You should of slapped her and put her in place.
P374RD3D 9
She most likely wants her own.
Roevera 14
Jersey Shore?
Tuffay 14
Baazing! For the Win!
damn_homie 2
Bad Girls Club
Zoh_Aubrey 8
I actually hope it is BGC so she can get hit.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doesn't matter, all reality shows suck.
PhishloverA 14
Teen Mom, X-Factor, Survivor
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
CrewBoy 10
Parents can only do so much for a child. The stupid will be stupid.
Steve95401 49
The dim bulb doesn't fall far from the Christmas tree.
hatesfate 6
^candle and jack-o-lantern. Please don't be like the damn stores and rush us through holidays. :( lol
Unibear 1
*kid spillsand drop of water on carpet* mom-"HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE CARPET I AM GOING TO TELL YOUR FATHER AND YOU WILL SHIT A..."
Girreth 7
I can't tell if the daughter is stupid or if the parent is self-centered.
rsunshine2020 13
It's all about the upbringing if you think about it.
rsunshine2020 13
It's all about the upbringing if you think about it.
CrewBoy 10
50, it really isn't. But I don't want to get into a Nature v Nurture argument right now. Haha.
MagicGiraffe 12
Children also pick up a lot of influence from outside the home, like school and whatnot.
X_Codes 11
How children act when they're teenagers probably depends more on their influences at school than at home. You know, that whole identity-seeking thing...
patrickalamo 48
I agree, Apples and trees
maosquare 18
Well, if the tree is situated downslope, the apple will fall and roll very far away.
Blurry_1 0
Slapping her out of her chair would help prevent that kind of stupidity. Don't hold back!
SMD_emilyy 1
Regardless of her stupidity, this is an extremely harsh FML from parent to child..
technochik3 12
40- the ****?
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
oj101 33
I'd also like to apologize for my f*ucked up generation. Most of us are pretty normal- but it's the vocal few that make a lot of noise which accounts for all the negativity and stereotypes perceived on a particular group.
herpderpherpderp 13
stupidity of many girls like this +99999
kryxen 14
As it is with most generations.
starbucksguy 16
3 you had faith in humanity?
FlamingTacos 7
86- it was probably negative before, so he had no faith
Zoh_Aubrey 8
47 - Every generation has its share of **** ups--but because of mass media and social networking, we have access to a bevy of idiots.
theartists 5
47- I'm really sick of people who say " I'd like to apologize for my generation". Not everyone is like that in your generation. Not everyone likes the music and has a pile of shit for brains. I'm just saying that it offends me a lot when "my generation" is stereotyped.
WearingHats 14
He was apologizing for the "vocal few". If you're offended then you consider yourself one of the dumbasses.
theartists 5
127- I'm none of the sort, and getting offended by it doesn't mean I am one. I know that they exist, yet I dont mock them or make fun of them, trying to apologize for "my generation". When someone chooses to follow something or not to try to learn, that's on them. What bothered me is that he stereotyped, implying that the entire generation is a group of shitheads.
silvereye12 7
Can you hear us all the way up there on your high horse? Or should we just tape a note to the stick up your ass? Stop getting so huffy about things on the Internet. You make yourself look like one of the idiots most of us try to convince people we're not.
oj101 33
#124. Ignore the first sentence if that helps. I was actually apologizing for the vocal few that makes our whole generation seem f*cked up even though we're not, and most of us are normal. The first sentence is just to broadly appeal to everyone and grab the reader's attention. Hope this clears things up for you.
Omnirod 4
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? Loser.
lepuppykicker 15
How old is she? Teach her some manners.
DCarrasco526 4
I hate you solely based on your name
Roevera 14
Bitch... Did the puppies ever kick you?
rampersaud 10
I'd like to slap you out of your chair with that kind of name..
Lady_Face 12
But her comment is valid.
Mister_Triangle 21
It's just a ******* website username, calm your ****.
laurenlovesjb 20
Her username is probably just from an old FML she posted. Maybe she got blamed for kicking a puppy, or she accidentally did, etc.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Says that she has never posted an FML of her own...
lepuppykicker 15
Haha y'all calm down. It's a joke. I did accidentally kick a puppy one time (not that hard). My friends said that was the most evil crime someone could commit and they have called me that since.
kat4x1track 5
67-No, they did not but I would like to kick you.
Egao_fml 8
And you would think that that username wouldn't alarm anybody, how...?
SenselessPattern 12
Jesus Christ, now I have the urge to make a new account called "CrippledOrphanRapist666".
lepuppykicker 15
It hasn't alarmed anyone until now.
eb0ny 15
Im appalled at how everyone is reacting to your username. It's obviously a joke, y'all need to calm the **** down
NorthernGrizzMN 0
Lmao
final_rest 3
You should show her how things work in the real world.
danaavery 5
No pun intended.
oj101 33
What do you mean? Reality is like, totally real. Its called reality isn't it? No sarcasm intended.
damn_homie 2
The Real World is a reality show on MTV that's what he meant
stronghand0331 17
Or the other real world, where daddy doesn't pay for her moronic ideas and she has to sleep her way to the top
bestnameright 14
I reposted my last comment accidentally... Like totally sorry! Soooooooooo yeah sup?
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Nothing
Gordon12345 7
I'm guessing "Teen Mom" is the show.
bestnameright 14
Could be a new version of honey boo boo!
Warden1986 16
#13 No, just no.
gracehi 33
A birdie really told you that? I'm guessing he spoke penguin?
DrewFluIngle 10
#69 You just made this thread awesome. It's like a perfect name and moment x3
gc327072 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Should've slapped her. Sounds like she's gonna be one of THOSE girls...
AH1Zviper 15
A lot of young girls ARE THOSE girls nowadays, I blame parenting.
gc327072 31
It depends, sometimes it is parenting, but mostly I blame general culture.
GothicAngel17 24
I blame the Internet and the media.
stronghand0331 17
It sounds like she already IS one of those girls...
raspygirl 12
Seems to me like she is a spoiled brat... Which you have raised that way. She expects you to pay her way, I'm guessing, because you always do. Try talking to her instead of the Fml board....