Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
TexasKitten79 6
Not an FML for you. A stranger assaulted your daughter snd you protected her. You had every right. And if she brings charges against you for assault, get your attorney to ask for her to pay your legal fees!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Serves the miserable old bitch right.
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Comments (12)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Serves the miserable old bitch right.
TexasKitten79 6
Not an FML for you. A stranger assaulted your daughter snd you protected her. You had every right. And if she brings charges against you for assault, get your attorney to ask for her to pay your legal fees!
Zach Ertzberger 7
No wonder this dude’s name is Richard Pencil, because only a pencil dick would think as he does.
RichardPencil 32
Well, how was your daughter dancing? You may need to show her some non-***** moves. ***** dancing is going to bring more unwanted attention and the next creep might not be so easy to subdue.
Aj Castelletto 11
wtf is wrong with you. doesnt matter how a 4 year old is dancing. noone should be sexualizing children. jesus ******* christ
Kurliez408 32
RichardPencil is a notorius fml troll. Ignore his comments.
Todd Klopfer 11
obviously you are new here. This is what Richardpencil does. sometimes he us funny sometimes not.
RichardPencil 32
Of course, no one SHOULD be sexualizing children, but it happens nonetheless. Showing your children how to avoid that seems wise.
Beackers675 13
Her daughter is 4 you ******* nasty ass. I hope to God you're being facetious, because that comment right there is pushing some real Pedo vibes.
RichardPencil 32
I'm tired of dealing with stupid *****! If you see your kid dancing in public doing moves that might attract the wrong kind of attention, you have an obligation as a parent to tell your kid to do different moves. You'd just let your daughter twerk out there and hope for the best?
Zohraya Giwa Osagie 2
You sick ****
Kohrie Black 3
To everyone calling him a sick **** and other names. Stop being in denial. I am a woman and recently found out that a family member of mine was a pedophile and molested every single one of my close female relatives. Now when I look at my boyfriends daughter, it is with hawk eyes, making sure she is right by us at all times. Making sure that she is dressed appropriately. You want to know why? Not because I sexualize children but because I KNOW that thousands of older men do! I want her safe and im not in denial. To protect out children we need to understand that these kinds of people are out there and we need to do what we can to keep our babies safe.
longnight83 9
Seems the old lady had that one coming. If you don't want to get hit, don't assault children. You'd think she'd have learned that lesson by now.
alex_jaguara 33
That's a very adequate parental reaction.
TheGestalt97 12
The ****? She’s 4. Odds are she doesnt even know what a ***** is.
leximichelle 13
Without knowing every detail of what happened, I would say that unless she became more physically aggressive, maybe not immediately go to punching people, unless other options fail. Regardless, you had every right to protect your daughter, so props to you.
Mathalamus 25
Don't punch people.,, just walk away...,
s_ve 7
If some one grabs your child... and called them a *****... I say punch them.
tounces7 28
FINALLY, an FML that actually ended the way it's supposed to, with some dumbass getting their comeuppance.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Good going... Defending your child... Hopefully you both are ok. Don't care about the old bat.