Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
You ain't heard anything, right?
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Noob
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Hammertime
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to tell me he couldn't take it anymore because my legs were too hairy. I shaved yesterday. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Waste
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Sensitive snowflake
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Peachy keen
Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML
Top comments
RC4524 0
Regardless of your stance on hair "down there" he really should learn some tact, particularly at such a personal moment.
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Y'know, if my man insisted every woman in the world shave, I'd smack his three day beard off him. I hate the razorburn, and I don't do wax(nope, no, once was enough). I'll trim a lot of times, and sometimes shave as a treat to him, but hell no on permanently bald. You want A woman that is shaved all the time, that's your choice. Keep your opinion about ******* you're never going to see to yourself. You don't have the right to judge every woman's ******.
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Comments (119)
kyle1991 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
nasty! shave of that beaver!
PhoenixFiend 0
Pubic hair is actually a natural way to prevent friction.
R2d6 0
lmfao this is hilarious
OrginalOwen 0
calls it like he sees it.
marmlr339 14
agreed. LMAO!!!
KiddNYC1O 22
This goes down as one of the funniest fmls in a my-bf-is-a-douchebag-and-makes-me-feel-like-shit-yet-I'm-still-with-him kind of way!
AlyWallyy 0
bet that ruined the mood
padma_yeshe_dawa 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*gags* A way to prevent friction? With what? The bodily fluids of crabs? The byproducts of all the microbial flora and fauna living in the forest? Ewww.
carnage1106 0
true dat
coolsteve 0
Mary huff
squintysmore 0
hahahaha yes
mjoep1996 4
Ewwwwww.
All_I_Need 4
Having pubic hairs is actually cleaner than having none because it protect the inside of the vulva, the ****** and the labia from germs.
Lainett 0
i shave... but men's hair all over down there and everywhere turns me off... I wish the next fad will be men who shave everywhere with women. I do things to look good for men, and I think men should either stop complaining about "natural women" and start fixing their hair XD. I dunno, it might be just me but inch long dark hair everywhere on a guy makes me want to puke.
KrazyKatz3 26
I'm the exact same. I think it's gross. Thankfully my boyfriend can shave... but yeah I wish guys would all start shaving
Frostxtq 0
It's you #193. A lot of women like men with hair. Most of them are perfectly happy if their man just shaves their pubic hair and arm pits.
anonbastard 0
I don't get the point of shaved. I prefer my partner to not look like a 10 year old from the waist down. It's kind of creepy.
Lainett 0
I'm not sure how girls can find bushes under armpits, a lawn on their chest back arms and legs, and a hairy groin area attractive :P I just might be crazy. I'll probably tell my bf I won't shave again if he doesn't at least trim his curly long black thick hair all over beugh
Waffcakes 0
#200 I agree.
Missjazzy123 6
Not everyone shaves or waxes... Get over it.
MetallicaRules19 4
never shave your face with a lollipop in your mouth, stupid thing i did today
muhdoggin 0
no relation
nigalangelospizz 0
**** that'd be hot. stretching it with like 2 lollies
Cjw1220 0
Shave that shit! 33, what the hell?
Nick_1993 2
obviously 33 has never got some if he is thinking of shit like that
FMLollie 7
haha how long have you been together? the first time and your talking about if you have children?! :O
Ryujin_fml 0
Possibly just wanted to wait or something or they could be a new couple and he made a joke lol.
FMLollie 7
Yeah, but if he was being serious though?! WOW he's keen!
Ryujin_fml 0
if he was serious at least we know he will keep his kids trimmed and looking nice lol
FMLollie 7
aha I guess so... that is if they don't from rag burn lol
Ryujin_fml 0
lol yea. their first life experience is rug burn from their mother.
DraconicFeline 31
Just because it's a couple's first time having sex doesn't mean they haven't been together for a while. Some people like to wait even if they know they have a future together.
oakleyguy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahhaha shave it off
Haterman123 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this actually made me lol (not the comment tje fml)
omgwork 0
If someone has to comment on something like that, it's a BIG problem.
redbluegreen 41
A hairy problem.
chloec16 0
a hairy situation ;)
All_I_Need 4
Yes, it is a problem that everyone assume that a normal vulva is hairless.
worldclass 0
Stop complaining and take action.
hahachun 4
are you so ugly you have to turn your picture upside down
lemoncows 2
are you so ugly you can't even put a picture of yourself up?
Chunkylover76 4
Burn!
RileyL29 0
yes because your picture is WAY better.
hammy3 0
you're one to talk?
adamo_erebus 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A woman should be clean-shaven down there. ALWAYS.
jess2gd4u 0
and a man should always have 9inches plus. but that doesn't always happen!
MissErikaHart 0
uhh this ain't the 70s? I can't tell by ur pic!! haha I'm jk jk op u should at least trim.
jess2gd4u 0
and a man should always have 9inches plus. but that doesn't always happen so keep dreaming boy!
SwiftKick2DA 0
haha that's a nice male burn, just had to throw that out there in the universe...
mitchn60 6
Whataya want me to do with the other 3?
jess2gd4u 0
like I said #30. 9" plus!
jess2gd4u 0
#35 it's only a bad analogy to those who ain't got it!
jess2gd4u 0
basically my point is that this fellas masogonistic view of women is irrational. I do do think a women should be well groomed but that's me it shouldn't be everybody. just like I want a guy that's clean cut to. who wants a mouth full of that!
HamsteronA 0
You do realise why the hair is there, right?
docscientist 10
it's to grow your own crab farm?
jess2gd4u 0
lol crack up. I didn't mention once that every guy has to!!!! bomb out for u! AGAIN you only hatin on this of u ain't got it. all good I'm sure there's a lady out there for your tiny......lol
Dudeitsnuri 0
yeah. what he said
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Y'know, if my man insisted every woman in the world shave, I'd smack his three day beard off him. I hate the razorburn, and I don't do wax(nope, no, once was enough). I'll trim a lot of times, and sometimes shave as a treat to him, but hell no on permanently bald. You want A woman that is shaved all the time, that's your choice. Keep your opinion about ******* you're never going to see to yourself. You don't have the right to judge every woman's ******.
Mr_Zachary 0
thank you organisedchaos, saved me the trouble of saying everything you said. +1
mikdundee 0
jess2gd4u good on ya you got the "little fellas" all hot n bothered. me myself have an average size and my missus says it's girth is what gets her going and without bragging, boys you gotta use it properly.oh! never heard of cunillingus?
morgann4826 0
can you chill? it was a joke.
cradle6 13
Organisedchaos was right. Her analogy made absolutely no sense. Work harder on that babe. And as for the actual fml, hair isn't that big of a deal. As long as she trims enough and is hygienic then I don't really see a problem. Pretty stupid if a guy wants a girl to be bare in order for him to go down on her. And finally, people who are saying that "he wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't really bad," the guy was most likely a virgin since she said 'for the first time.' He wouldn't really have another girl to compare it to.
KiddNYC1O 22
8- Wow, a little bit of hair isn't bad at all either. It's actually intended that way.
padma_yeshe_dawa 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree, her logic (& English) could use some improvement. Pubic hair traps odor, microbes, and of course, crabs. Crabs are patently disgusting, but I also can't fathom anyone of either sex wanting to sleep with anyone who finds the other two acceptable.
walkerbee30 0
except men NEVER are clean shaven. gross!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
jess is undoubtedly making herself look as ridiculous as her name implies she is, but I have to ask, oc. Where are you getting the idea that women promote themselves as being less shallow than men? Some silly girls may say that, but by and large, we present ourselves (and often, the media rightly presents us) as being quite shallow on the whole. Any woman who gives it a moment's consideration will realize that most of the things we do to look good are done for the sake of other women (and, in turn, ourselves and own self-esteem). We're far more critical of each other than men are of us.
jess2gd4u 0
hahaha. that's what I was waiting for!!! all of u guys... thank. you made my day!!! cheers people!
ImAnInsomniac 3
actually that's a very poor analogy (the 9 inches plus thing) shaving can be controlled. it's hygienic. your dick size can't be. it's genetic. try again
All_I_Need 4
It is NOT hygienic
mahona_fml 0
I agree with 74
jess2gd4u 0
#180. Australia is by far a conservative country and I would like u to tell me one city in it that is conservative!!!!! you are the one acting above all others! ur obviously not a true aussie as u can't handle a joke, or a difference of opponion! ha. don't try to act to smart all the time as u have already tripped urself up multiple times on this post alone.
jess2gd4u 0
I can't dumb it down to ur standard mate. lol. bloody funny fella! have a good one!
Seddah 3
To 81: evilhobbitofdoom, you rock =) I agree. This is all about personal preference. And I also think trimming is much healthier and more comfortable. I don't like shaving myself bald. I find it really uncomfortable. As for guys, I like guys with some hair. When a woman is completely hairless she looks prepubescent, but so does a guy with absolutely no body hair. It feels kind of creepy to me. TL;DR -- Everyone has their own preference. To the annoying douches who keep insisting that everyone should conform to one pubic "style", STFU. Everyone just go with what works for you.
Mikki4321 0
"by the way, for a gender who promote themselves as not being shallow, you guys are quite open about a preference for larger penis sizes, which is quite the opposite of deep." I am sorry, but where do you get that from? I don't know one girl who would rather have a guy with a huge penis, than a guy with a regular sized one. I actually know a few girls who've had trouble with their boyfriends's large penis, because it HURTS like hell when you ****. Not only in you ******, but a penis that is too big can actually go to deep and poke you uterus, which really isn't nice. I guess it feels like being kicked in the balls. I wouldn't know, I dont't have balls, but I assume it's about the same.
NightlyChecker 6
I agree with 8. I would never NOT be clean shaven, I'm still a virgin but the sight of hair on a ****** especially mine makes me puke. I've been shaving since I was 12, when I first started growing pubic hair.
bunniex1 11
Ichigo kurosaki in his bonkai outfit?
Missjazzy123 6
I will not Shave until I start having sex. I don't have crabs, or oder. Get over It.
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Well personally I prefer a clean shaven or waxed girl, but I'm not too fussed on it. At the end of the day, its their choice and theirs alone. I prefer to have mine trimmed really short, but I probably wouldn't go changing for a girl so I don't expect them to for me, as long as its all healthy down there
BabesYourAStar 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wax or atleast shave
mrod10 0
says the 9 year old
oakleyguy 0
mohawk trim!!!lol
Xavi89 0
cavemen!!!