Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
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Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
Bossmaster_D 2
I'd kill myslef
kristen5286 12
practice males perfect
kalbrek009 20
The rules are as follows: Don't ask about anything that might relate to her past sexual history, don't talk about your past sexual history & never under ANY circumstance, break either of those rules because neither of you will ever like the answers/info.
Fou_Lou 20
Thats bullshit. It really depends on the kin of person youre with. I never had any problems talking with my partners about sexual past. And on mide sie will never have. Talking about that stuff is a good way to improve yourself and learn alot about your partners sexual preferences.
HighlandShadows 48
Not to mention disease... it's probably a good idea to have some sort of idea of your partner's sexual history for health reasons alone.
Tsukiyomi 16
OUCH
FranzFerdinand 18
I wonder why you'd even consider your life ****** just because you found out that you're not the first guy your wife has given a ******* to… someone's got a fragile ego.
BlindlyWandering 17
Only 6? That's actually not bad dude!
UndeadFML 22
Rule of three. That's 9. Sorry man.
rjdare 11
Awww :(
deejoy 22
Six isn't bad at all! At least she didn't say 30?
SalukiRod 5
I've never asked anyone that question, and refused to answer it a couple times. No good will result from asking that question!