Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
That's… sexy
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Either she cheated or I would recommend seeing a doctor about your memory.
linkinpark98 24
MAURY!
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Comments (288)
ZoeElizabeth 0
Orgasms have been known to cause amnesia before.
salmonodin 9
240, do you actually know how old 156 is? I didn't see an age on her profile. Furthermore, as someone who is married there are reasons couples don't have sex for a year. It's not right, but it happens for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons are depression, extramarital affairs, financial instability, medical problems, or even one or both partners being deployed in the military. You don't have to be old and married to understand there's reasons why marriages can sometimes be sexless. Who are you to judge?
Herculesninja27 5
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
salmonodin 9
She could have been on birth control where you don't have periods, like the Depo shot. But the birth control could have failed and she still could've got pregnant without realizing it.
SplitChris14 0
Yea there's definitely something up... I mean who forgets having sex with someone?
jonathanstrange 1
You're married to someone who you don't have sex with???
cobanjo 2
She had sex with u while u were sleeping
travisbroadhurst 0
U better drop that girl. Or ur a fool.
lexielexx0 0
STEEVE !
lesliepalomera 0
How sad no wonder she cheated.. You didn't keep the passion alive. One year long time man but babies are always a blessing
dunicha 20
"No wonder she cheated"? Really? Yeah, it's all on him. </sarcasm> You know what I do if I'm not getting enough lovin' from my husband? I "keep the passion alive," as you so eloquently put it, myself. I don't cheat.