Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
That's… sexy
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Either she cheated or I would recommend seeing a doctor about your memory.
linkinpark98 24
MAURY!
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Comments (288)
LeCommentator 1
Maybe you were drunk.
guerillazinsuits 1
Aww shit.
kissmyace25 6
maybe she jumped on top while you were sleeping
melanierules123 7
drunk???
kyle515 3
Aww, shitttt. but how could you not having sex in one year? i am very sure your wife is not satisfied!
urbanimpression 6
Ninja sex
bansheeshee 0
Bro...you haven't had sex with your wife in that long? C'mon man!
TheHeavyOne 15
All on you! Should have been pleasuring your wife!
RachelleMatson 0
Maybe the fact you haven't had sex since last years the problem=|
darkforever_fml 1
LEAVE HER NOW! Not having sex for a year is enough to wonder somethings wrong and now she's pregnant. You sound like a glutten for punishment! More fool you.