Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
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Top comments
KingLewisII 34
Next time say I already warned you once.
subgub2222 16
That horrible and people like your wife are the reason so many people don't take real domestic abuse seriously, your wife and people who do what she's doing are making domestic abuse into a big joke when it's really something very serious.
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Comments (173)
Blahblah9921 4
no offesne but shes being a bitch
Yodelmeister 18
Your wife is an insult to abused women everywhere.
sarah2144 14
That's really disrespectful to people who really are victims of domestic abuse...
phenard 7
I really don't understand why this would amuse her. Not only could she get you into serious trouble, she should be embarrassed. Speaking from experience, it's embarrassing to be seen with someone who would dare do that to you. To still be with them and let the beating continue? I wouldn't be caught dead.
pointingirl 2
I don't understand why so many people are saying things about him going to jail... She would have to press charges for anything to happen to him which she obviously isn't going to do.
daddysgirl8 21
Your wife is a dick. Which is more of a compliment than anything else. Wait until she's begging for some "fun" and get her all excited before rolling over and going to bed.
kalbrek009 20
I'd say turn about is fair play here....next time she pulls that, I'd drop to the ground, cowering & shriek "no, honey....why do you always wanna hit me? don't hit me anymore...I'll be a good boy!". I was in a relationship for 13 yrs w/a woman who tried to beat on me but cops always thought it was the other way around...I even sat in jail for 13 hrs. FYL OP..yes I was young & stupid @ the time.
newmember123 6
srry man
Robert1989 9
your wife is awesome. end of story
Petey801 5
I would just flick her bruise