Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
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Comments (203)
thiscrazything 1
Sorry, but your wife is an idiot.
dabassxslappa 0
How old is your wife, 15? Seriously grow the **** up and watch a decent show.
token_blackguy 18
sounds like a reason to divorce her.
allknowingbrony 5
you let your wife make you watch Jersey Shore????? MEOW - *whip sound*
Mourningstar 4
YDI dude, you married her, its to late to complain now.........
TOPS_fml 5
Sleep the floor? In your living room? Don't you have a couch or something?
HeatherHNJ 1
If your wife looks as bloated and gross as Snooki then I don't blame you! That shows a joke!
ashley6789 0
Exactly why Jersey shore can SUCK IT.
Mannie_G 0
Liking jersey shore is an automatic deal breaker for me. I notice most of the fans are as insane and/or stupid as those people. GTFO while you can.
wickedeva 2
Please do not procreate with this woman