Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
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Top comments
Gabilliam 19
"I mounted him" I don't know why I'm laughing at this
LennyComa 39
That Sucks, but maybe he was really tired and didn't feel like having sex. It's unlikely but not unheard of.
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Comments (48)
Clmrt 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Epic fail!
sayyestothedress 24
You comment is an epic fail
beserker81 12
So ironic that you spelt that wrong
sayyestothedress 24
#36 oh shit! My bad! *down votes self*
LennyComa 39
That Sucks, but maybe he was really tired and didn't feel like having sex. It's unlikely but not unheard of.
GigaPudding_fml 24
I think OP's boyfriend would have been more successful in telling her "no, not now. I'm tired" rather than pushing her off the bed. If his mission wasn't to make her stop taking initiatives of course. Then he's probably very successful.
allloveprevails 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Eh just wait for him to make the moves from now on.
slyde32 12
so she should never initiate it? great logic, she should let him have it when he wants, but not when she wants it
Gabilliam 19
"I mounted him" I don't know why I'm laughing at this
devildog562 33
Cause it sounds like a animal planted reference? "As the female mounted her mate, he resisted by pulling a The old snoring routine. Crikey mate , look at the beast roll her off the bed in resistance!"
xSphinx 18
because she means "straddled" and if she "mounts" him he's in for a surprise in some awkward ways lol
Marie54321 19
You should have tried to bring him down with you
Sandsh8rk 36
FINISH HER! *falls off bed* FATALITY
yuzuhere 21
Your picture alongside your comment is just majestic!
orbit 22
The word majestic is majestic.
chidexy 21
Sad
keiNan_fml 35
may be he just wanted sound sleep... and sorry to hear about the fall hope you didn't get hurt
ModernZelda 19
Boys suck.
Cryptical 13
Your dick.
Queensland 27
Snoring in mouth... New kissing technique?