Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML
Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML
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Top comments
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I always wanted to be Spider-Man, I thought I was so cool as a kid when I had those "web" shooting toy things that you strapped to your wrist.
ColdplaySucks 18
I'd of? I would have* You might want to rethink your comment for a bit.
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Comments (54)
LennyComa 39
I'd of started pointing as I laughed....People who ask those questions deserved to be neutered
ColdplaySucks 18
I'd of? I would have* You might want to rethink your comment for a bit.
Yakostovian 18
Actually, that's just illiterate dialect. Redneck dialect includes strange words like "irregardless" and "Sooners."
hotPinklipstick 24
28- Irregardless is not a real word. It is slang for regardless.
efettes 19
I feel like a redneck wouldn't know a word that long... Much less be able to pronounce it.
lexisJO 11
#8, thaaankkkk you. I didn't want to be a grammar nazi but that was driving me ******* nuts.
sweetbliss3 37
actually irregardless is not a real word. since everyone uses that word instead of the correct "regardless" it got made into a "real" word.
CallMeWindSock 24
28, irregardless isn't a real word, as it is a contradiction in itself. Ir- and -less together mean it's "not regardless", whereas "regardless" doesn't have that double negative.
Yakostovian 18
It seems my humor doesn't translate well.
Arrow44 10
Actually you bunch of asshole crammed Nazis, "I'd" is a contraction of I had or "I would" look it up before you critique something that is unfamilier to you.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I always wanted to be Spider-Man, I thought I was so cool as a kid when I had those "web" shooting toy things that you strapped to your wrist.
calilovesneb 12
Those were the best. I used to shoot it in my mom's face to wake her up.
PDN 12
I still have mine and still pretend to be Spider-Man.
Wakachulak 22
Did he also serve raw shrimp at a wedding reception?
MidnaLink 35
What's that got to do with it?
morella_xx 29
Stop forcing references to other FMLs that aren't even topically related.
MidnaLink 35
Plus that was two months ago.
iSativa 24
Oh of course! There's this guy who got bit by a spider and now infinite web shoots out of his wrists!
Wakachulak 22
Isn't the web an invention of Parker's?
Dracoboxer357 36
All the comics had Parker invent the web shooters. The movie with Tobey Maguire had him suddenly being able to just produce and shoot it from his wrists....which isn't where a person would shoot it from if he became all spider like, but somehow that seemed cooler than him bending over and aiming with his back end. ;P
gracehi 33
I always thought the biological web shooters made more sense than a high school kid inventing something that the most educated scientists in the world can't figure out. Yeah, it wouldn't come out of his wrists, but come on. It's a story of a kid with super spider powers. You've got to have some willing suspension of disbelief.
capeofsteel 0
The mechanism isn't all that advanced, and he has always been explained as being an exceptional scientist. The webbing itself he discovered after gaining an awareness of the necessary enzymes from the spider DNA mixed with his. There is much less belief needed to be suspended in this version.
gracehi 33
How would a spider know what enzymes comprise his web? That doesn't make any sense either...well...less sense than organic web shooters in the wrists, anyway.
andrewturtle 16
Those sorts of questions deserve only sarcastic responses.
HowieDoIt 21
Oh really? You don't say!
Bluekaren16 19
Please don't say.
CrissyyyS2 22
Someone has been locked up from reality.
HowieDoIt 21
Totally! Especially Tobey Maguire's emo days in Spiderman 3...
QuantumLife 12
You should have told him it is and then made up a new type of spider. His disappointment would be delicious.
BadApple88 29
It isnt ?!? My whole life is a lie
micha090 21
Tell him he can become the next spider man if a radio active spider bites him OP.