Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
pipsqueak7 7
next time just say that she does look like one...just a hint.
iKaite 0
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machete_fml 0
i lolled my ass off to #23
Kronic_Kitten 0
Ya I agree. Fishing for compliments is such an annoying thing to do and 9 times out of 10 you don't get the answer that you're looking for! Then have the nerve to come down on the person when they give a different answer? Wow so immature. So is automatically assuming that it would be a positive answer. I would rather have an honest answer WAY more than a lie. If I'm trying an outfit on and it doesn't really flatter my looks my boyfriend will tell me straight up......I tried on a pair of pants once and asked him how they look on me. His response? If you don't want to get laid wear those....that didn't make me mad..it made me laugh really hard just because of how honest he was about it.
GreenHacker 0
YDI. Who let's their wife force them to sleep on the couch. Make her sleep on the couch for not appreciating the fact that you bought her a couch in the first place.
DrAwesome 6
#45 Man win. :D
Sigmund_fml 0
totally agree. also YDI for having a psycho-bride
Duckasaurus 0
YDI for not doing the right thing and putting her back in the kitchen.
metheonlyb 17
#45 is ******* Hilarious! I laughed my ass off at that!
rairai897 0
wow wats with u guys being assholes about this stuff? i really dont see how he could deserve it, he was being nice! my god u ppl r so stingy, lets see how things would go for u if that was you in that position, ud get pissed and say "oh i didnt deserve that" all he did was be nice to her
xclegend613 0
damn you had a lot of time on your hands
farhil 14
dear #74, They were saying that he deserved it for LETTING her treat him that way. I personally agree with them, marriage is a union, you are one body, equal to eachother, if you let the wife/husband in the relationship dominate, then you will disagree, and end up in a lot of arguments or in one huge argument lol.... my advice: get a marriage counseler
ragamuffin42 12
#45 deserves a billion man card points.
helen1988 0
I love you #52.
reyemrein 0
when a woman asks a man about her appearence, the man will lose no matter what.
Des2247 0
i agree, that was harsh and pointless of her todo tht
pop7467 7
You are a asshole... How will you ever get a girlfriend?
johnrdz3 24
or make a quick save by saying," you don't look like a supermodel... you look like a goddess".
twenty2182 0
wrong answer :(
BeeSkwaird 0
There's no right answer. Leave off the "almost" and she'll rip into him for saying she's anorexic or something.
dudeitsdanny 10
I agree with 66. Hasn't TV ever taught you the right answer is no answer? Let her answer her own question. =)
nahgemsoohc 0
young love.... is scary.
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
Sun_Kissed18 25
Yes, yes we are.
airforce987 20
I don't care if your crazy or not, but #87, your cute
blo0_starZz 0
Agreed, and I'm a woman. God, I'm ashamed *facepalm*
debbielushious 6
do you mean 'women'?
mellasaurusrex 5
I agree. That is the stupidest reason to get mad over. Being close to a supermodel is a very good compliment.
Dixie_Normous 0
It better be her. If not, you are a bitch.
geetface 0
that's exactly what i was gonna say.
xclegend613 0
you hit the nail on the head man
crzyry 6
Yea, it's been my personal experience that women don't really like to hear "almost" or "kinda" when it comes to how they look. Sucks to be you man.
DameGreyWulf 1
Those women you met are self absorbed bitches then.... I /guess/ I could let "kinda" slide, but "almost" seems pretty good to me, practically equal to "like." Not the same, but pretty similar. How's that bad? OP, your wife should be grateful because supermodels are so fake. No, I mean it, their skin is so shiny, their eyes so sparkly, it's like they were CG instead of real. Too sad that people find that pretty these days.
crzyry 6
Most women want you to tell them they look perfect/flawless. I'm not by any means saying that it's right but a little white lie could be the difference between sleeping in your bed or on the couch.lol
americayay 0
I can understand a halfhearted "Almost?" but sleeping on the couch? Harsh.
greenltrn2003 0
It just seems like all women think of a supermodel as the perfect picture of a male fantasy chick. Maybe the OP likes the weight class above stick figure so ALMOST reaching toothpick level would be his perfect girl. this could have been the best thing he has ever said to her and she was too wrapped up in trying so hard that she didnt notice BAM!
FYLbutYDI 0
Sucks for youq
moonlight_daze 8
Your wife aspires to look like a supermodel? If so, she is setting herself up for epic failure.
RufusCade 7
Women, can't live with them, can't live without them...
metheonlyb 17
You just said what was in my mind!
haraken 0
Women: can't live with them, can't have heterosexual sex without 'em. :D
Luckster 0
Bitches need to not ask if all they want is a 100% positive opinion.
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
No_Heart 0
Her: 'Confused look' You: Here have some earrings Her: 'Smile' You: Make me a sandwich Problem solved.
AndelleRae 9
Lmfao. Brilliant.
dudeitsdanny 10
11+29=WIN
blo0_starZz 0
I lol'd :3