Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
busdrivertohell 0
You should have followed it up with 'Minus the whole being too scrawny and most likely having an eating disorder thing'
gr3y_fml 1
Just imagine if you'd married a supermodel and tried that "compliment." You'd be doing it harder than just sleeping on the couch now!
Morphs 0
YDI for that bad remark...
epicwinmaster 0
Never tell the truth. Thats the golden rule. always tell her what she wants to hear. you couldve got laid. sorry buddy
amatayo 0
hahahaha wow what a strange thing to say. Ex. Your girl walks in the door looks you in the eye and smile. "You know what I almost love" (Yeah that's how she feels.)
cowinvasion 0
It would have been best to say nothing at all. An "almost" statement means nothing. Still, her reaction was silly and irrational.
FlaminYawn 0
I wouldve said "cute enough to take it doggystyle", and if she bitched I'd make her sleep on the couch. What is it with pussy ass guys sleeping on the couch, you're bigger so it makes more sense for the guy to get the spacious bed...
plexico 4
Correct answer: "In that dress, you look almost as good as your sister." A different strategy is to avoid the aesthetic issue altogether and complain about how much that rag set you back and accuse her of trolling for fresh meat. That will end her fishing trips for compliments real fast.
idrivefast 0
I'd be like "almost eh?" as a joke. Some women are too easy to piss off.
drsmartassMD 0
Does she make you sit at the kiddie table as well? Or make you ride in the back seat if she's upset with you? Or howbout "hush...the big people are talking" followed by your "ok hunny...sorry." Must be a sad world when your wife can tell you to sleep on the couch and you do it.