Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
LissaMccracken 23
Nut up, or shut up. Don't be her bitch, you make her sleep on the couch, or you shut up and don't complain. You didn't deserve it, but don't let her treat you like that.
esoom73 11
always always say she looks beautiful. otherwise she'll find some way to be offended and start a fight
foxy_grampa 19
All you had to do was say yes. Or just take it off of her and have sex with her. That would send the same message
worldclassrager 41
With those questions you are better off not replying...no matter what you say you will be on the couch
spankthatcow 14
Rookie mistake