Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
LiznessMonster 9
Your wife should read the other FMLs about relationships.
FoxDragonGL 3
When she asked what you mean, you should have responded that the difference is she has the sexy curves - meaning chest, waist, and hips - that no twig supermodel ever had. If she didn't like that...then there was no making her happy in that situation. Sorry OP.
EveryonesMonday 0
Girls are bitches when it comes to self esteem. Sorry, I am one.
iexcell 0
do all women believe they are really that beautiful?
zellybo15 0
never ever answer that question. you are almost guaranteed to answer wrong
rachilio 26
We're sensitive. Get over it.
LexyLithium 2
shallow bitch. fyl
ImTheAlpha 30
I'd be flattered, and my bf(if he didn't dump me) would have gotten a ********. Your wife is stupid, and a total bitch.
fragglefock 0
Dint take that crap. She gets mad at you for something so tiny what is going to happen when your kid does something bad? Is she gonna beat it to death? Women who get mad like that for no reason can't be trusted.
EverdreamOfMe 24
What a bitch. I hate woman who can't take the truth! Don't ask if you can handle it, or if you are just fishing for complements!