Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
Tom14567 0
What the hell?!Again I am going to repeat WHAT THE HELL?! Divorce this bitch right now,you deserve way better than this ****.
realggirl 0
Well, I'm a girl and if a guy told me to sleep on the couch I'd tell him no, I'm sleeping in the bed. I suggest you do the same to your wife. Stand up for yourself. She can't make you sleep on the couch if you don't want to.
ajw1991 0
YDI for marrying a bitch
BunnyDrastic 0
YOU!!!
Sapphy 0
well she is obviously a spoiled bitch =_= jesus
cucumberfabulous 7
You're just like my grampa.... Doesn't know how to stick up for himself against his wife. He's in his late 70s now, and he finally stood up for himself for the first time..... You need to hurry up and do that as well before it's to late so she doesn't think she has complete control of you and bosses you around about every little thing! But it might be a little late already..
xxjennafurrxx 0
What a bitch.
cynicallysenecal 0
Get a hew wife. If my husband ever told me I looked "almost like a supermodel" he would get bj's every day for a month.
BikerMike 0
If he told you that you looked BETTER than a supermodel, what would he get?
cynicallysenecal 0
He could stick in my butt....idk.
ragamuffin42 12
Women. there's just no way to win with them.
BikerMike 0
You should have told her she looked like an elephant. There is a reason the are called *****!