Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
sunnyXsmile 0
I agree with #64. I would have been hella flattered if someone said that to me.
AntiChrist7 0
YDI for marrying that kind of person
getfighted 0
what a bitch, you should pick her up put here on the floor and you sleep in your bed it'd be more fun that way
SeximusPrime 0
Women like to be lied to, apparently.
ayashe 2
I hate whiny women like that. And why are you sleeping on the couch, because she told you to? Stick up for yourself! It's your bed too, if she doesn't want to sleep with you SHE can sleep on the couch.
PhillyFox 0
Your wife has...issues. I hate people who get bitchy like that. If you don't say the EXACT thing that they want you to say, God help you.
RatIsKing 0
psssh....women
SamEmCee 0
Your wife is a bitch, but you deserve it for not sticking up for yourself.
MeowMan 0
the dog?
myballs 0
She sounds like a worthless, superficial ****.