Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
Pyrbaby 0
Ugh. I hate women like that. Let's get real. Supermodels are too skinny and look like aliens most of the time, and even the pretty ones are made to look so fake that to look like them is an unattainable goal. Not to mention, not everyone can be a supermodel. Its just how life is. OP, FYL. I suppose in the future, just stick with "You look great!"
Jimbo2000 0
How did this get on here? This is not an FML
Dr_Balls 0
Save 14th for someone who appreciates it.
Ohnothingreally 0
What is special about 14? AND.... Why did you marry that bitch?!
cgarcia9789 0
If you had a wife you would know how it's a big FML.
gameoverman_fml 0
You're married to the woman and you still don't know how to respond to a simple question? Male fail.
dudeitsdanny 10
Wait... There IS a correct answer? Enlighten me, master, for I am still only 19 years old.
DameGreyWulf 1
There isn't. It's a trap. It's always a trap. The only way to be prepared is to learn how to think of all the negative things that could be implied from your comments, and think them within a split second so as to not make her think you're trying to "break it gently" or something because you took so long answering. Or you could just not get such a self-centered twat for a girl.
pmk138 0
wow that sucks...at least you learned how to answer your wife's questions from now on thought. :D
ladiesman14 0
and thus the secret to getting action. ALWAYS make a woman feel sexy. even if you gotta lie. i always go where groups of desperate girls hang out together. treat them all nice and you will get a BJ in the parking lot at a minimum more if you got game.
waterynuggets 0
Soy un perdedor
moonlight_daze 8
You watch too much TV, Ladiesman14.
DameGreyWulf 1
Yeah, lots of benefits, except for when they kill themselves from all the self-hate generated from jerks pulling that stunt.
evilbrent 0
FYL for putting up with that shit - if she doesn't like your compliment (and it WAS a compliment right?) then she needs to cope with it like an adult. Don't put up with your wife's tantums. If she wants to act like a baby then that's her problem. FYL for being so chickenshit that you can't organise a grownup conversation with your partner.
jobekka 20
you almost sound nice
FoundManyLemons 0
Just say "yes." Don't elaborate, embellish, or complicate it. They just want affirmation. Oh, and YDI. I mean, if I was told I "almost" have Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackmans's body, I'd be really happy with that. I know I'm nothing special, so if someone thought I came close to the upper levels of attractiveness, then wow. But tell a woman she's one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen, and she wants to know why she isn't THE most beautiful. So you should lie. Lie lie lie lie lie. Because it's not about rational comparison and categorization, it's about feelings. Lie.
Sun_Kissed18 25
I am going to have to disagree. At least, I'm not like that. I love compiments, of course, but when my boyfriend starts lying or exagerating to make me feel better, then I get mad because I want the truth. He once told me I was prettier than Megan Fox. I was like "... Yeah ok, stop it." So yeah, lying = not good :) always. Btw, your comment made me laugh :P
girandwogpig 0
Lie lie lie lie lie!!!!
cynicallysenecal 0
Megan Fox is ugly as hell...I would be pissed if I was told I looked like her. Not only is she ugly as **** but she has toe thumbs.
dudeitsdanny 10
Haha, I find it awesome that women always hate on Megan Fox's thumbs. She's not girlfriend-hot. She's more.. Million-night stands hot.
cynicallysenecal 0
My husband is the one that pointed it out to me. We were watching the MST3k when they did Transformers and he was like "**** her thumbs are hideous."
Anonchick 0
wow so she isn't perfect. but really? picking on megan fox's looks because she has toe thumbs? are you really that critical of other people's appearances?
cynicallysenecal 0
Why stick up for someone you don't know?
Anonchick 0
why hate on someone you don't know? i guess i'm just a glass half full person :)
cynicallysenecal 0
And I, half empty. Life is too short to love everyone.
null_fml 11
Megan Fox has thumbs? I can honestly say that in all the time I've spent looking at her, on screen or in questionable pictures on the internet, I've never noticed that she has thumbs.
dudeitsdanny 10
119- YES! Lmao. Exactly my point. Most guys had no idea about her thumbs till a girl pointed them out to us =) Cynically...- Life's too short to hate on people you don't know. =)
moonlight_daze 8
#109 said, "Megan Fox is ugly as hell...I would be pissed if I was told I looked like her" What the **** are you talking about? Megan Fox is anything but 'ugly as hell'. She's absolutely stunning. And no, that's not an opinion.. That's an objective FACT! Just because you're jealous of someone, that doesn't mean they're ugly you know.. And in my opinion, being jealous of (or crushing on) celebrities is a waste of energy.
IMTHEGREATEST 0
i find it hilarious that all these girls on the Internet are ripping on Megan fox about her thumbs? I mean, in all honesty, she's definately one of the most attractive girls in the world. you know it, and I sure as hell know it. so stop being so f-ing weak and jealous that you insult her one flaw to cover up your (probably) more numerous and more noticeable ones. nohomo.
ifailplzinsultme 0
haha ya Megan Fox may be fake but she's hot. And I don't like Justin Bieber but I see how girls would like him. It goes both ways.
shaniecerb 0
saying anyone is the most attractive person in the world or even attractive at all is an opinion,not an objective fact dum dum
Darth_Taco 14
Tell her to get over herself. If my boyfriend told me that, I'd appreciate it dammit! Well, maybe not "supermodel." I would feel like he's telling me I have no ass or boobs, which would be weird since he was initially attracted to those key features. I'm getting off topic, your wife is completely ungrateful. Does she want to be told that she is the definition of perfection? Then she should ******* earn it. If she pulled that shit on me, I would've packed my bags and left the house until she learned to act like an adult who appreciates my honesty. Then again, I'm 19. What do I know right? **** it, I stand by my statement no mater how old I get.
ImTheAlpha 30
But... You're a dude... Dudes døn't have boobs...
FPsLife 5
You clearly brought attention to the (definite) fact that there are plenty of women better-looking and that you could easily think of those women right on the spot. Surely you can come up with a way to tell her she looks nice without lying... just a bit of effort!
cani_fml 0
YDI for marrying a self absorbed childish woman.. & for allowing youself to "get sent to the couch" for something that stupid. This is what happens when two immature idiots think they live in a sit-com
nanner6206 24
dammit. I want to like this...like, 20 times! The puppy bumped my arm.