Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
**** rings - the toddler edition.
person961 9
That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.
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Comments (167)
Enslaved 38
Awwe boys. . . always wanting to stick their cocks in something. :P
fricgm 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
agreed fyl op, ive always hated kids
mollysticks 10
Your profile says you're 16, technically still a child until you're legally an adult...
kofeinisti 6
So? Kids can hate kids too.
WritingWrongs 8
Well, hopefully one day you'll be a little more mature.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Discrimination isn't cool, even if it is just against ages. D: Besides, aren't you a kid yourself? (Your profile says 16)
holly_fly 34
I've disliked kids between 3-13 since I was about 16. I think because I've always been mature for my age, and I've had to babysit I was 12. I don't plan on having kids because I don't like kids, so... I think what #20 is trying to say is younger kids, not kids as in infant, toddler, child, preteen, and teenager put together.
lelo007 11
That poor baby! It amazes me what children will do when exploring their bodies. And FYL, OP, at least pee washes easily and doesn't necessarily have a smell to it, well, not a terribly awful one. Maybe move the jewelry box a shelf higher to prevent this from happening again?
isamisis 9
With your ring - He did wet.
jmoreno 4
Now we're gonna have to cut it off n ur gonna be a girl
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Say wha?
jem970 19
What? That killed a few of my brain cells.... I have a tip for you. Re-read before you post. It can save you from people thinking you are a little dense.
accidentprone3 4
Or big...
cheshireau 26
I hoped you washed it before you put it back on your finger.
Pandacupcakelove 26
12 years later, OP's son has brought a girl home OP: Hey, remember that time when you took my wedding ri... OP's son: NO NO NO NO!!
donut_gurl 8
why was your wedding ring in reach of a 3 year old? Kids are curious, they play with everything... could have gone missing all together, got thrown down the toilet, in the garbage, etc. Be careful with your valuables. I hope it didn't hurt him, but stimulation of the penis may cause a boy that young to pee.. it happens. My son has peed on my many times, its part of being a mommy. I hope he's ok, but YDI for putting it where he can get it. Glad he didnt flush it.
PhishloverA 14
He doesn't know rings don't go on dicks yet?