Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
**** rings - the toddler edition.
person961 9
That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.
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Comments (167)
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Put a ring on that penis haha
Obvious8 3
This is the part of parenthood no one tells you about.
SunTzu2 9
Golden shower
olpally 33
The **** is wrong with you?? He's 3.... God, this fml has some idiotic and horrible comments... Smh...
austinpenrod19 6
Or a well endowed kid
onorexveritas 24
the one and only ring!
doodlecloud 27
At least he didn't choke on it. Why did you leave your wedding ring within reach of a three-year-old?
deequu 20
Why was such a small object reachable to him? He could have chocked. It's better him peeing on you then to have died.
misskelcie 1
Great example of why I hope I have a girl lol
momo1972 3
That's just too funny
stormstarcj 12
How can any of you sick bitches talk about a 3 yo penis like that. You guys are disgusting. I feel bad for the poor kid! It's called WATCH your child!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Gee relax, when you will have kids, you will understand that talking / joking about your toddler's penis is perfectly normal. My nephew lost his penis head's skin in the bath when he was a toddler and he screamed: "I broooooke my peepeeeeee". It was freaking hilarious, even if we managed not to laugh in front of him. Still a funny story that we will tell him when he will be a teenager. ;-) Besides, whatever you say, it is impossible to have your toddler under supervision 24/7. They are bound to escape your notice for a few minutes and get into trouble as they usually do at that age.
AFEmoWifey 0
Obviously you have never spent prolonged periods of time with any toddler. My nephew managed to pull a pot off the stove while I was in the bathroom. He was playing in his room when I went in, and less than two minutes later I'm running to the kitchen holding my pants up. They move with super human speed.
ZebraLiscious 6
Whateva no noob even cares!!