Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
**** rings - the toddler edition.
person961 9
That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.
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Comments (167)
skyeyez9 25
Some kids are just nosey and able to get into pretty much anything. She may have had it on top of a tall "out of reach" dresser. The boy pulled the drawers out to use as steps to reach up there. My MIL said when my husband was a toddler, he got into everything. He pulled a dresser down on top of him, yanked his curtains down and swallowed the little gold colored nails that secured the curtain rod on the wall, she could leave a room, only to come back not barely 30 seconds later and he'd be on top of the fridge. She said she'd literally be in tears cause he was so hyper and would refuse to go to sleep till 11:30-1am then be up at 5-6am. She said she'd try to tuck him i bed and lis legs were just everywhere and he'd wiggle and keep getting out.
skyeyez9 25
She had her nose broken by him when she went to cuddle him in her lap. He flung his head back and busted her nose. He couldn't sit still, always getting into something, irritable a lot because he had allergies. I'm surprised she went to have three more kids after dealing with him! I think after that, I would have had my tubes tied. When he got older, the damage and bs increased. He went outside to play (around 6yrs old) and 5 mins later a brick come crashing thru the living room window. My husband standing out there with a look like "O.O"
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Your MIL is a saint ^^
EpicBlondie89 19
Sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with, except i have two exactly like that. Drives me insane.
KiddNYC1O 22
Better on his dick than in his throat?
smitherz22 1
How big is your sons penis? Or how small is your wedding ring
skyeyez9 25
Toddler penises are not very big.
vbmg152 19
How? Just... How?
Austyn57 1
dammmmmm....
zuelhater 7
WTF
trivel64 16
77-No one assumed that.
sugoine 12
Great story for when he brings home his first date!!!!!
kristirhong 12
"That's not a finger, son."
SeleneB 1
Umm it should be "comes" or "came" not both.