Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
**** rings - the toddler edition.
person961 9
That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.
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Comments (167)
PoodleJuice 7
If you like it then you should of put a ring on it.
timjones 8
He doesn't know any better. Don't be worried. He's experimenting.
theAZN2look4 5
He did not last long. He squirted so quick.
hanymandy 6
That's the funniest FML I've ever read
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. He liked his penis, then decided he wasn't ready for a commitment.
marramrammar 2
Better keep eye on this kid! Already sticking his thing in any hole. Should have taken a picture for future parody, and bribery material cause he will never believe.
Marteeny23 19
Just no. There are so many legal concerns to taking a picture of a kids privates.
aJaguarinRed 9
Everyone seems to assume OP is a man...
aJaguarinRed 9
Why take it off (ignoring health concerns)? The kid obviously made a commitment.
jayhawkchik 4
Proof that men will stick it anywhere without hesitation. Good luck with that one.
X_Codes 11
Ahh, kids. The ****** up shit they do cuz they can.