Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
**** rings - the toddler edition.
person961 9
That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.
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Comments (167)
Lee002 8
this is an FML for the kid, not for you. Get over yourself
securityops 1
Tht kid has really got some great skills...
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
oh baby hormones they just grow up so fast XD ROFL
isk8pro445 4
How exactly does a 3 year old get a ring stuck on his penis?
Frenchtony 17
I'm pretty sure this is made up, I don't see how a wedding ring could get stuck on a three year old penis it makes no sense, though, this FML has definitely been written by a three year old...
shayeen 3
Honestly this is the best fml i hve read so far.
JuliannVo 11
O-O that made my mind think horrible for the whole day
silverstream20 20
I don't usually swear on here but....HOW THE **** DOES EVEN HAPPEN? Seriously,did he literally shove it up the pee hole or something?
amc597 28
Umm, don't think he could exactly "shove it up his pee hole". He stuck his penis in the ring.
theprincess79 2
How in the world did he get ahold of your wedding ring? Weren't you wearing it? And why would you leave jewelry where your toddler could reach it? He could have put it in his mouth and chocked on it or at least swallowed it.
LoneBooker88 16
wonder what he was trying to do with the ring on his weiner...