Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
katamaridamacy 0
I would kill your housemate and serve him at your sister's wedding.
o3o 0
I'm a vegetarian too, but that's just wrong. :o I understand when people eat meat, it's not like I can change them. But what your roommate did was going too far. -_- Oh, and tell him to stop supporting PETA. T_T
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Comments (512)
jonny2x4 0
I hate vegetarians who think they are so superior and intolerant of carnivores. The only thing worse than vegetarians are vegans. The only thing you get out of eating only vegetables is pale skin and weird smelling farts. You have carte blanche to choke this asswipe.
brastafarian 0
if god didnt want us to eat animals he wouldn't have made them out of meat :) make that bitch pay for it
c_alan_zoppa 0
We need an FML for stories that aren't made up.
BigWestRunner 0
what a gigantic douche bag
ZeroCharisma 0
You're made out of meat too, genius.
girlface9 0
meat is not murder, cattle populations are only here because we need them for meat and milk. Meat was an important co-factor for brain development in early human evolutional history. The cattle do not know any different, fair enough to be opposed to violent killings as seen in some religious slaughter rituals, but you'll find most slaughterhouses stun the animals before killing them so that they feel no pain and don't see what's coming. Vegetarianism should be a personal decision, ideas should not be forced onto other people. Well done vegetarian-man in this situation, very counter-productive throwing out $1000 worth of meat, now another cow has to be 'murdered', does that make you a murderer?
beastly13 0
here is what you do. you handcuff each of your roomate's hands to a piece of furniture. you catch a pigeon and bring it infront of ur roomate then curbstomp it right infront of him. make sure the blood splats on his face. then say all slow motiony "youve been evicted bitch" and shove the dead bird down his throat until he chokes and dies. or something along the lines of that :)
ConnorMilos 0
I'd bet anything that this happened in Seattle
mollytamale 1
Wow that. Is NOT ok of your roommate. Fyl
sengmengida 0
last time I checked, I'd rather stab myself in the leg with a fork than have to know the difference
Kenpachi_fml 0
It will help in every possible way possible