Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
CiaoBella
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
...
Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML
Wmsys32pr9
United States
Nice family you've got there
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Anonymous
Cambridge, United Kingdom
Stunned silence
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
gloria77
United States
Lame
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Top comments
randomm 0
aw thats cute.
deadguy321 0
Well, you do f*** her mother, right?
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Comments (89)
gabbyisagirl 0
Yeah, you'll be laughing when she comes home pregnant and tattooed!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
She's 2. I think it's a little early to be thinking about that. You're just a ray of sunshine aren't you.... lol.
Toas7 0
Just a word. She probably heard it from you or one of the family. They all seem to have good attitudes.
WildBill1337 0
i would laugh too. then again, i swear like a sailor..........damn xbox live gets me PUMPED!
azzh0le 0
You deserve it, for two reasons. One, you probably taught her the word. Two, you are an uppity-enough son of a b*tch to care if people use "bad" words. The only reason "swear" or "curse" words are considered "bad" is because some group of idiots at some point in history decided that they didn't like those words. How is saying "f*ck" worse than saying "have sex"? How is saying "bitch" worse than saying "female dog"? How is saying "ass" worse than saying butt? How is saying "sh*t" worse than saying "poop"? Because people that think so are f*cking idiots.
penflower 0
yet you refuse to completely type out said words.
sum1two 0
hahahahha
s3kShUn47 20
@16, Ahem, dipshit alert!
Dinglenuts 0
This post fails.
meningless 0
#16, that was the most pathetic atempt at sounding remotaly intelegent I have herd all week. and i live in the south
skins4ever 0
this is fail
dingle1673 0
And so was that, #36...
BuffetCrayfish3 0
I can tell you live in the south because of your grammar. You didn't have to add that obvious statement.
biedrzycki_love 0
My cousin taught her 3-year-old sister to say "What's up my niggas?!" And it's still hilarious...
u_killed_kenny_ 0
ah man dude serious? lol I can see that- a 3 year old saying "what's up my niggas"
azzh0le 0
#18, "i" can tell that you live in the south. Those schools down there just don't even "remotaly atempt" to do the job. Ya "herd" me? I bet you're an UGA fan, that wasn't smart enough to go there, much less a respectable university, and that thinks it makes you the winner of the argument to bark at people when they speak intelligently to you about football. #19, you may think that's hilarious now, but you won't think so when you're whole family gets shot because she says that to the wrong "nigga". Why are people such f*cking idiots?!
lizardlols 0
Not all people who live in the south are dumbasses. Just in Mississippi & Georgia mainly. :P
22cute 17
Louisiana too...the public school systems are set up to KEEP them dumb!
24788 7
lol, shes 2. Can't expect her to have common sense yet.
22cute 17
You could expect the family to have a little sense, maybe?!
ddrluna 2
If I would have said that as a child, my mouth would have been washed out with soap. It's this kind of coddling behaviour that produces snot-nosed mouthy little brats. And then parents wonder 'where they went wrong'. Address this now before it's too late. Next thing you know she'll say it in school and you'll be getting phone calls about it because they don't find it as funny as you do.