Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
CiaoBella
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
...
Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML
Wmsys32pr9
United States
Nice family you've got there
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Anonymous
Cambridge, United Kingdom
Stunned silence
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
gloria77
United States
Lame
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Top comments
randomm 0
aw thats cute.
deadguy321 0
Well, you do f*** her mother, right?
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Comments (89)
BlackBirdBillie 0
That sounds exactly like my family. My cousin took a picture of her two year old daughter, and as she aimed the camera, the two year old flipped us off with both hands.
pwnage79 0
but that IS pretty damn funny! i can picture a baby saying that clearly but sounded like an extremely young baby
gorbagil 0
I agree with #6: this isnt an fml if nothing bad actually happened
mich99 0
your family is crazy at my step grampas funerial the first day for most of the wake my famly were making jokes and most of the entie famly is laghing
BellaBabexX 0
sounds like my family
Bannister19 0
Its not that funny. Its not that unusual. Don't think you're special because of it.
DecayDance_fml 0
maybe she was just too cute? even though she was swearing... yeah. and anyway, don't worry - my family are nutjobs too.
iaaan 0
that's funny. go eat some flavorless ricecakes.
RebeccaWvvv 0
Haha that's some funny shit!
iranoutofnames 6
wonder where she picked that up??