blueberry_hill
United States
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Werribee, Australia
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
me
Australia
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
todaddy
United Kingdom
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Viciousvixen_21
United States
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
MommyProblems
United States
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
whoslade
United States
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Secretlypossessed
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Anonymous
Scottsdale, United States
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Top comments
bmboente15 0
ydi for sleeping with children
therealsuperman 0
what a quick learner you've created
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Comments (86)
cloudy01 0
shoulda had an abortion
valri3 0
Shoulda had a V8…….
btc415 0
wow... that is such a horrible solution and why would u even suggest that? wow.
lostfaithinpppl 19
@btc415: Which one? V8 or abortion? :D jk, I know what you meant. @cloudy01: go punch yourself in the face please.
wsox1333 0
if you don't want to deal with kids, you should've made him wear a condom
attatood 8
The father or the kid? Haha! jk
ohthebloodygore 16
23, you're an idiot. Maybe the dad did wear a condom? They're not %100. Besides, she's not stating she doesn't want her kid. Parents just tend to get frustrated every now and then. It doesn't make you a horrible parent or whatever. It's normal, especially if it's your first child.
tooFLY 0
you punch him back??
ItsAshleeBxtch3 0
why the hell would u do that?!
Chinnithy 0
Because it would be funny
tooFLY 0
76 because it would be hilariousssssss... and it was just a bit of sarcasm
RosiePatosie 0
Gotta love kids. -.-
smokindagoo 0
time to wake your ass up u got a kid now and it doesnt know its your day of or care if is thats life he will more than likely boot you in the clam a few times too when you try to pick him up and he is freaking out
sweet_candy_ 17
Awww sweet memories :)
fakEwOrLD 0
couldn't have hurt that bad
jckbco 0
why?
iheartglasses 0
Thank god my toddler sleeps till 8. I dont mind waking up earlier, but he cant get out of his room anyway. Those door knob safety lock things are awesome lol If your toddler can open doors, buy some. If your spouse let him in the room, shame on them for not respecting your day off. But children do come with responsibilities...Day off or not.
ninofrank 0
He's a year and one month how strong could he be really
simplysarcastics 26
When my niece was three and looking for her mom she punched me in the jaw, my cheek was red for a few days, and it hurt like a bitch.
califbob 3
at least hehasnt learned what a titty twister is yet. feel lucky!