blueberry_hill
United States
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Werribee, Australia
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
me
Australia
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
todaddy
United Kingdom
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Viciousvixen_21
United States
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
MommyProblems
United States
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
whoslade
United States
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Secretlypossessed
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Anonymous
Scottsdale, United States
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Top comments
bmboente15 0
ydi for sleeping with children
therealsuperman 0
what a quick learner you've created
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Comments (86)
brokenhelix 4
roll over on him next time. he'll learn real quick who's boss.
LovinisWhatIGot 0
god I hate it when people say their kids age in months when they're older than one year.
ReginalUT 0
Having your children sleep with you causes them to have seperation anxiety. Ydi
PhantomDS 0
Enough with people saying how many months old the kid is, just say he's one year old, I don't want to start counting months to know how old it is. Otherwise, hardly a unique FML, having kids sucks, get used to it.
mannykinz 9
67- FTW
chexi 0
YDI. kids do stuff like that. If you didn't want to get punched in the eye you shoulda thought about that before reproducing. at least don't whinge about it I mean come on, kids do worse than this all the time!
mexipunker 0
Guess you shoulda swalloed that one.
whtalif 0
that's what happens when you have kids darling get over it!
bonezowns 0
owned by a baby
blueberry_hill 5
My son sleeps with me, because he has seperation anxiety. He has seperation anxiety because my husband left for the military. There is nothing wrong with co sleeping. And for those of you that dont have children shut up theres no way in hell you know what being a parent is like.
meteor_stream 9
Oh, OP, I see now. Get off your high horse immediately. Co-sleeping with the kid because it has separation anxiety is totally OK and acceptable - however, being all like "STFU you childless bitches, you don't know what the hardships of being a mommie are!" is not OK. You know, you're not required to be a parent to have common sense, and it seems that this statement is completely new to you. P.S. You should invest in some apostrophes, commas, and a better spell-checking program. Or repeat the grammar course at school - you have probably missed it because of the sacred mission of birthing a sproik.