Today, a judge gave my ex custody of my two sons, most of my money, my house, my car, and has ordered me to take anger management classes. We're getting a divorce because she shot me with a gun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Desperate
Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML
****** around, found out
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
Y'all better run
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML
Mother of the year
Today, my ex-wife brought the kids to me angry that she had tried to pick up some guy but the kids ruined it just by being there, so she brought them to my house because she couldn’t be bothered this week. The judge giving her primary custody is a travesty of our legal system. FML
Unstable
Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML
Fight club
Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
Commited
Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML
Bad sitcom levels of incompetence
Today, in a moment reminiscent of Two and a Half Men, my divorce lawyer screwed me over and gave my soon-to-be-ex-wife 90% of everything. I now need to pay a new lawyer to fix what she screwed up. And yes, she was lashing out at me because my brother had sex with her then never called her back. FML
Let it go
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Top comments
keble 9
I mean, regardless of who's at fault, it's obvious we aren't getting the full story here
interesting33 37
from what you've written that is disgusting and surely illegal?. can you kick up a storm with a politician a d a charity? she should definitely not be having custody of any children by the sound of what you've written
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Comments (33)
interesting33 37
from what you've written that is disgusting and surely illegal?. can you kick up a storm with a politician a d a charity? she should definitely not be having custody of any children by the sound of what you've written
RichardPencil 32
You believe that his ex just shot him in cold blood, or could it be that it had something to do with his anger that the court required him to manage?
Dave_Davington 35
This is why you always get a prenup.
The_Khan 12
Prenup probably would not do anything, if a judge decided that he needs anger management for getting shot.
TyroneLeBron 24
Considering the anger management classes, perhaps... the Judge is probably right on this one?
engineerosaurus 26
This is when you appeal and seek to have the judge taken off the bench.
FemskyD 26
let me guess.. the judge was a woman? ✌
RichardPencil 32
On the plus side, you do have a lot to be angry about, so you’ll have no trouble applying what you learn in those classes! Nothing pisses me off more than having to take a goddamn class where I can’t use any of the ******* subject matter in my crappy life! Hmm, maybe I’ll see you in class.
mt21mt 15
Well, in the eyes of a divorce judge - "omg a woman! a woman can never do anything wrong! give her the kids! the house! half your future paycheque!"
feckarsedrink 9
Unless your a wife beater and a drunk no judge would do that, clearly you're an asshole who deserves it
interesting33 37
I agree that it seems unlikely that the judge would do that based on this, and that a lot is being left out (presumably in part because of the word limit), but assuming that OP MUST be a wife beater and drunk is a bit much. We don't know.
Lobby_Bee 18
Who wouldn't need an anger management class after your ex wife ruins your life?
onceuponatime456 16
You seemed to have left a lot out. Like, why did she shoot you?