Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
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Top comments
lchollett 22
Assert your dominance by peeing in its litter box and then guarding said litter box whenever your cat has to go.
britni2point0 6
Pee on the cat!
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Comments (95)
inolongercare 19
Its a cat - you are it's owner. You have to be the dominant one
DA3Z 16
Grab broom. Push cat = victory.
LostInTheZone11 29
I'm with you. A broom or a squirt gun would work.
Mightytall 35
Everybody gets the cat they deserve. Ask yourself what you need to do different to turn kittie back into a cuddly tame animal.
TheLostCauseFML 40
Did this happen on a Caturday?
captainsmegma 12
Solution. Piss on the damn cat.
TheLostCauseFML 40
You should record it next time and audition to go on the show "My Cat From Hell".
MichelleMaBelle_fml 16
Push the little shit in the toilet where it belongs
Mooglefox 24
How big is your cat?
amanda182 19
I don't understand why you wouldn't just swat the cat away, or pee in the shower or sink.. Just turn on the water. You made it seem like a bigger situation that it actually was.
LegionRapier61 8
**** that. Kill the damn cat and hang it above your toilet as a warning for those who challenge your potty time.