Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
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Top comments
lchollett 22
Assert your dominance by peeing in its litter box and then guarding said litter box whenever your cat has to go.
britni2point0 6
Pee on the cat!
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Comments (95)
classicsparkles 17
Cats are cat sized, genius. If you submit and let it know it's the dominant one of the household that's how it's always going to act. Scruff it and look it straight in the eyes and if it's agressive at that point give it a quick smack on the butt and toss it out of the room.
healthcarechick 9
Seriously?!?!?! If your that big of a pussy that you won't move the cat off of the toilet that's what you get! Also just like you said "your PSYCHO cat". Get a dog!!!!
leogachi 15
@54 Getting a dog wouldn't really solve anything here.
Badkarma4u 17
Yeah the dog would growl and op would be running down the street screaming.
AMYDB1293 10
hahahaha
Vix_Sparda 11
solution grab broom. hit cat. pee. done
Jryan952015 7
Hey the pussy always wins!!!
BeenIt 5
Mush the hell outta that pussy, then cop a squat. WTF is the big deal man?
Lars93 18
why are you affraid of your cat ?
leogachi 15
@33 Getting a cat neutered doesn't really stave off aggression. What Op needs to do is stop being a coward.
leogachi 15
I hope the people clicking "your life sucks" did it on accident. You completely deserved it for being a coward.
gunnerblaster 21
Pfft. Either throw some water at the cat, piss on it, or get rid of it.