Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
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Top comments
lchollett 22
Assert your dominance by peeing in its litter box and then guarding said litter box whenever your cat has to go.
britni2point0 6
Pee on the cat!
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Comments (95)
middlenamefrank 8
Hmm....the reason I own a cat is because it's a pleasant experience for both of us. Why would you have a pet that terrorizes you like that?
middlenamefrank 8
It depends on when you get them neutered. If you do it when you should, when they're kittens, they'll never develop dominant behaviors. But if you try it when they're already mature, their behaviors are already habitual and neutering won't have much effect. Fix your animals, and do it when they're young.
Ninjerman 7
Just piss on the cat. He'll learn
bobbillybob 4
What is it with cat people. Your bigger and smarter. Well bigger at least. A smart person would have just come to the conclusion to move the cat by force instead of letting the cat dominate the human.
Hop6e 22
If it'd been my cat doing that I would have gotten a broom and just shoved him off. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
rohan111993 13
Kick it off? What the hell is wrong with you people? It's a ******* cat!
fyourlife775 2
Sounds like your the pussy in the house
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Declawing is actually extremely cruel and has many serious health risks. Cats have claws and will use them (for scratching posts, etc). People who can't handle that shouldn't have cats.
fryebaby623 14
push the cat in the bowl!
george_s_4 32
Just put on gloves and grab it. It's not that hard