Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
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Top comments
lchollett 22
Assert your dominance by peeing in its litter box and then guarding said litter box whenever your cat has to go.
britni2point0 6
Pee on the cat!
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Comments (95)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
you are superior. smack the piss out of it.
OhWhoCares 42
Why not just move the cat, or turn the shower on and piss down the drain? LOL. Or if you're going to do something a little more solid (since you have a cat I'm assuming you have a litter tray for it somewhere) why not just use that? ._.
itsjustme95 3
Just get a broom and swat it off.... Cats aren't that bad.
limegreenpoopie 31
That's some cat you got there...
pandor_fml 24
Pussy whipped
NeatNit 33
"you?" how does that work?
PANDORUM89 21
listen I have 2 cats and love em but if a cat challenged me and I couldn't use my bathroom I'd make that cat go flying. if he is acting like that then you've obviously been a pussy about other things and now he thinks he can bully you.
orsombre_fml 11
Grab him by the nape to assert your domination as his mother, then walk with him to his cover or preferred place.
Jord_Fox 14
This is the first I've ever heard of a psycho cat
TheLostCauseFML 40
Jus love the title of this one. =^.^=